I'm feeling very slumpy today. Waking up sick didn't help. Do you think it's possible to have food incompatibility issues with patty-pan squash? That's the only thing I can think of that would have set me off. I've got terrible issues with green peppers, and this was pretty similar. So now I've got another squash on my kitchen counter and I have no intention of eating it. I'll send it to whoever wants it. Which reminds me of the time that someone gave me a ginormous zucchini and I didn't know what to do with it. (This was when I was living in the Treasure Valley in a subdivision.) I stuck a stamp on it and attached a post-it note saying, "Happy Give Your Neighbor a Zucchini Day!" and stuck it in my next-door neighbor's mailbox. Never heard a word about it. Go figure.
Looks like I'll be heading to California for the service when my grandmother does pass away. I'm not going without reinforcements, which is why I'm taking my father (aka, The Crazy Norwegian). Matt is in the middle of the worst-possible time of year, and I'm not sure that my mother's side of the family wouldn't try to steamroll him anyway. But ain't nobody gonna fuck with Daddy. So I have that to look forward to.
Anyway, I figured I'd leave you on a high note and tell you the dirtiest joke I know. I heard this one when I was in the second grade and didn't get it until about freshman year of high school. That was a moment...
Okay, so this woman goes into a tattoo parlor and requests the tattoo artist to etch the likeness of John Lennon on the inside of one of her upper thighs, and Paul McCartney on the other. It takes quite a while, but finally the tattoos are completed. The woman looks at them in a mirror, but can't quite decide if she is satisfied or not.
Not sure how to reassure her, the artist looks out the front door and spots a drunk slumped up against a nearby building. He grabs the guy and brings him in the shop, where the drunk finds himself looking at the woman, who is naked from the waist down.
The artist says to the man, "So what do you think? Does that look like Paul McCartney and John Lennon?"
The drunk peers at the lady and finally says, "I dunno, but the one in the middle with the bad breath sure looks like Willie Nelson."