It’s time to announce the truth behind yesterday’s quiz. Chris guessed the right answer. I’d say it was because he knows me so well, but his comments lead me to believe that it was his fiercely competitive spirit and an accurate guess, rather than our close bond. So here’s the history behind your three choices:
1. True. Yep, I really did have a boyfriend leave me and start seeing his first cousin. My then-boyfriend Ron had a younger sister who got married one fine summer day. Lots of his kinfolk (and I use the redneck terminology on purpose) showed up for the ceremony. Due to the fact that most of the family was of the Mormon persuasion there was no alcohol at the reception, a fact that grieved many of us greatly. We all decided to go and party at a bar in Emmett, and two of Ron’s cousins (a boy and a girl) came along with us. On the ride there, Ron’s sister-in-law, who was a major instigator from way back, whispered to me that Ron and his cousin had always been sort of sweet on each other and I should watch my back.
We got to the bar and started enjoying ourselves. Ron was being really chummy with this girl, but I was trying to be blithe about all of it, so I wandered off and drank a beer or two with some logger friends of mine who were in the bar. I came back a while later and Ron and the cousins had tequila shots in front of them. He asked if I wanted to do a shot, and I said, “I don’t know, I’ve never done one before.” The girl cousin smirked and said, “I bet she won’t do one.” Well, that was all it took. Bitch had thrown down the gauntlet, right? Four tequila shots later (on top of four beers), and I was pretty much on the floor.
I ended up sitting on the sidewalk outside the bar with my head in my hands. I was feeling pretty bad. That’s about the time one of my logger buddies (and I should mention that they were all married and we were just friends) came out to check on me and said, “By the way, your boyfriend just drove off and left you. He had that girl with him.” I was 40 miles away from my own vehicle at that time. This friend of mine ended up driving me back to Boise that night, which is where I was living at the time. I later found out that Ron and the cousin had indeed hooked up, and wound up dating for a while.
I’m still hoping that karma catches up to that S.O.B.
2. False. I wasn’t even allowed to attend my Homecoming dance, on account of that crazy religion. I will preen just a skosh and say that I was nominated, but I had to turn the nomination down, also on account of that crazy religion.
3. True. On account of that crazy religion, I was an extremely clean-cut kid. I didn’t drink until I was about 20, and I just never thought cigarettes were all that interesting. I don’t like the smell, and I just never lit up.
And there you have it: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.