I Caught You a Delicious Bass

Napoleon Dynamite


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
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Yep, that's about right, especially the part about the secret Ninja moves.

Note: if the stupid graphic (which totally reeks like poo) doesn't load, it says, "You are Napoleon Dynamite. Sweeeeet! You have excellent bow hunting skills, quick reflexes, killer dance moves, and know secret ninja moves from the government. You are a force to be reckoned with."

Things are Coming Together

Our New House? 

We received the counter-offer from the seller, and are hanging around, waiting to talk to our realtor about a couple of things we need changed before we sign on the dotted line. But...I think we're going to sign.

What do you think of the color? Baby-shit brown, yes? Oh well.

Oy, Wotta Day!

Today was our house-hunting trip. Things were considerably complicated when my beloved husband volunteered to assist in a wild turkey transplanting project this morning, involving him driving a truck and horsetrailer approximately 60 miles with a load of 80 turkeys in the back. As a friend of mine pointed out after hearing of the incident, my stories tend to have things going on in them that more urban people may have a hard time getting their minds around.

Anyway, the course of these little projects never goes smoothly, and we ended up being an hour and a half late getting to Boise. Thank heaven we have an understanding realtor. Who bought us brunch. Gotta love it.

In a nutshell, we put an offer in on a house today. We had eyeballed the plan pretty thoroughly, researched the area, liked what we saw when we toured it. So...now we wait.

Yesterday's inspection on this house went amazingly well. The buyer just had me show him around the house and we talked about the work we put into the place over the last couple of years. He looked at the appliances, checked out the property corners, and that was about it. I was expecting considerably more, but I'm more than happy to have him just sign off as being satisfied on the whole thing.

I'm back to being laid off this week. Yay! I get to sleep in tomorrow! Oh, and I started my period (this is somewhat of a fertility blog, so you all just have to put up with the continuing saga) and my uterus is a serious bitch. She is just plain kicking my sorry ass this month. Ow. Ow ow.

Inspector Gadget

Our buyer's home inspection is today. That's where the buyer typically hires a certified home inspector to come in and scrutinize the place to let them know the house isn't going to fall down around their ears two days after closing.

Our buyer is evidently going to do his own inspection. I guess he used to be a real estate agent, so I suppose he's got some experience in this kind of thing. I've gone back over the house with a scrub brush and a bottle of Clorox Clean-Up, but that's about all I can do--ensure the cleanliness of the house.

We have no reason to think this shouldn't go smoothly, but I'm still nervous. This is one of the big steps in the sale process. We're heading to Boise tomorrow to meet with our realtor and look at houses.

I'm feeling very fidgety.

Here We Go Again

That evil SpongeBob seems to be infecting others with his gayness (please recognize the sarcasm there):

Buster the Bunny Gets Busted

NEW YORK, NY, (NAMC) Jan 28, 2005—It looks like Public television is under fire by the U.S Secretary of Education and they can blame it on the bunny.

The problems all started after they got wind of a show that PBS had an option of airing which features an animated bunny promoting same-sex civil unions.

The name of the unaired show is “Postcards from Buster,” an animated children’s travelogue and takes place in good ole Vermont, the show recognizes same-sex civil unions. The bunny who’s name is Buster, yes the same Buster that is a part of PBS’ “Arthur” series, meets with real children and sends “video postcards” back home. In the Vermont episode, a girl introduces Buster to “my mom and Gillian,” and the group sits down to dinner.

The federally funded PBS pulled the show on Tuesday when the Education Secretary Margaret Spellings blasted them for featuring lesbian parents. But the Boston Station that created it “WGBH” will air it anyway and are looking to provide it to other PBS stations. A spokeswoman for “WGBH” said that a dozen stations have asked to look at the show and decide for themselves.

God forbid. God f*cking forbid that kids are exposed to different lifestyles.

Hey, Bloggers!

I thought I'd pose a question to those out there who have blogs of their own: what do you consider your favorite blogging tools?

For example, my list of current reading material is from All Consuming. My stats, as I have mentioned numerous times before, come from StatCounter.

What tools do you use on your site, and what do you like about them? What do you wish you had?

That Was One of the Most Frustrating Things Ever

I just downloaded Blogger's photo uploading program, which is called Hello! and runs directly off of Picasa software, which you have to install. I had it before on the old computer and it was just hunky-dory.

I hadn't loaded it yet on the new computer, and got an e-mail today saying that Version 2 was available, yadda yadda. Long story short, I was caught in download hell for thirty minutes, because Hello! (I hate that damned exclamation point at the moment) didn't install correctly the first time around.

It was absolutely, horrible miserable, and I really hope those damned Hello! people writhe in Purgatory an extra 30 minutes for what they put me through.

Nice Rack!

Toilet Paper Does Make One Bustier! 

It's sort of difficult to explain this photo without actually discussing my employer and what I do. Let's just say it sometimes involves rolls of toilet paper and snowmobiles. Lacking adequate space on the snowmobile for the tp, I started seeking alternative carrying options. This one didn't end up working in the long-term, but I did think it merited photo documentation.

Note that my hair is not quite as Spicoli-esque when it's up in a clip. I'm still chopping it off in about ten days.

Thanks for Having a Moustache, Mom!

Bad Driving 'Linked to Hormones'

Map reading and parking may prove difficult for some women because they were exposed to too little testosterone in the womb, researchers suggest.
The study, in the journal Intelligence, fuels the age-old male myth that women are deficient in these skills.

Scientists from the University of Giessen, Germany, found a lack of the hormone affects spatial ability.

Low testosterone levels are also linked to shorter wedding ring fingers, they say.

The research looked at the spatial, numerical and verbal skills of 40 student volunteers.

Spatial skill is the ability to assess and orientate shapes and spaces. Map reading and parking are spatial skills which men often say women lack. Women tend to disagree.

The researchers also looked at the length of the students' wedding and index fingers.

In women, the two fingers are usually almost equal in length, as measured from the crease nearest the palm to the fingertip. In men, the ring finger tends to be much longer than the index.

For one of the spatial tests, volunteers had to tell which of five drawings could not be rotated so it looked like the other four.

The other test involved the ability to think in 3D by mentally "unfolding" a complex shape.

Overall, men achieved higher scores in the tests than women.

But women with the male pattern of finger length did better than those whose wedding finger was shorter.

They also scored better on the numerical tests.

Fertility

Writing in Intelligence, the researchers, led by Dr Petra Kempel, said women who had 'male-like' finger length ratio patterns outperformed other women.

They added that the differences seen within the group studied were "remarkable."

However, the researchers accept that their study was limited because only one saliva sample was taken from each person, and no detailed account was taken of women's menstrual cycle, which can affect hormone balance.

Other studies looking at finger length ratio have suggested that, in men a long ring finger and symmetrical hands are an indication of fertility, and that women are more likely to be fertile if they have a longer index finger.

Another study controversially suggested that finger length ratio could also be linked to sexual orientation, with lesbian women having a greater difference in length between their ring finger and index finger than straight women do.

Blahhh...

After the excitement of starting escrow on our house, everything else seems kind of gray. I think part of the problem is that I have been so damn busy lately. I'm back to work full-time this week, though I don't have any idea if I'll work next week. In addition, I took on a public relations project for a friend of mine and have been working on a press kit for her business, I'm still trying to learn the web design stuff, I'm on the major slim-down project, and I've got two different job applications that need to be finished.

I think maybe I'm slightly burnt out. I still need to do our taxes, and I'm usually Johnny on the spot with those.

On the good side, I think we've identified which house we're going to buy. Our realtor in Boise has set us up with an appointment to tour this place and several like it on Sunday. With luck, we'll be able to make a contingency offer on it next week and close shortly after our sale up here is finalized.

Yeah, I've got a little going on right now.

Drumroll, Please!

We sold our house!!!

I should say that we accepted an offer this morning, and that we will likely close on or around March 1.

Dude, sweet! Boise, here I come!

Thanks for the Memories

I'm so sad that Johnny Carson died.

My family watched The Tonight Show practically every night when I was growing up, and Carson always made us laugh so hard. My particular favorite recurring skit was Karnak the Magnificent, where Carson would hold a sealed envelope to his forehead and then divine a response to the question written therein. We quit watching the show when Leno took over. It wasn't so much because Leno lacked talent, but because no one could fill those shoes.

Thanks for making us laugh, Johnny. Go with grace.

Cautiously Wildly Optimistic

Our realtor called: one of the groups (there were two, believe it or not) that came to look at our house yesterday sat down with their agent this afternoon and drafted an offer on our place!

We're meeting with our agent in an hour or so. They offered $11k less than we have it listed for, and we're going to write a counter-offer.

I'm all a-quiver with anticipation. Keep sending good thoughts that everything goes smoothly!

Remove the Rafter From Thine Own Eye

This is just ridiculous:

Homophobes Give Love Sponge a Bad Reputation

Here’s the deal: SpongeBob, along with pals Dora the Explorer, Arthur and the Rugrats, among others, got together in New York on Nov. 10 to tape a video remix of the Sister Sledge disco hit “We Are Family.”

Nile Rodgers, who co-wrote the song, set up The We Are Family Foundation (www.wearefamilyfoundation. org) as a response to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Its mission is to “celebrate our common humanity.” As part of that, the video aims “to promote tolerance and diversity to America’s children.”

The foundation is sending the music video, which includes a message about “the importance of togetherness embodied in the word ‘family,’” along with a teaching guide to 61,000 elementary schools. It hopes the schools will air and discuss the video March 11. With the backing of former Sen. Robert Dole and Sen. Orrin Hatch, the group is proposing March 11 as National We Are Family Day.

I’m not seeing a nefarious plot.

In fact, the packet doesn’t include the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Tolerance Pledge, though it is on the We Are Family Web site.

“Tolerance is a personal decision that comes from a belief that every person is a treasure,” the pledge begins. It ends with, “I pledge to have respect for people whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own.”

The talk of a mass “tolerance pledge” first surfaced on WorldNetDaily (www.worldnetdaily.com) in a story headlined “SpongeBob, Barney promote ‘gay’ tolerance.”

In it, American Family Association (www.afa.net) spokesman Ed Vitagliano charged that “homosexual activists are using popular children’s TV characters such as SpongeBob SquarePants and Barney the Dinosaur to surreptitiously indoctrinate young children into their lifestyle.”

Now, I'm no Sponge Bob expert, but if he's encouraging kids to live in a pineapple under the sea, okay. That's the closest thing I've been able to see towards persuading kids toward a certain "lifestyle." I fail to see, however, how any of it could be construed as homosexual. At all.

Where do these wackos get off in making accusations like this? Were they sitting around watching cartoons with their grandkids and realized that they got an erection from watching the interplay between Sponge Bob and Patrick? Remove the rafter from thine own eye!

And this horrifying pledge: God forbid that kids pledge to have respect for people different from them. Wouldn't that be awful? But you know, I've got a pretty fundamentalist-type Christian background (the doctrines and behaviors of which I repudiate), and I still can't remember Jesus Christ not showing respect for anyone, regardless of their "sins."

Typical of the fundies, don't you think?

Ooo, Ooo, Ooo!

You all keep your fingers crossed for us: after posting a serious rant about the slackitude of the real estate market around here, we've got a showing this afternoon!

My fingers are all bleach-smelly from the power cleaning I put on this place. I hope to God something comes out of this...

In Which I Address Your Unspoken Questions

I had a few interesting items in my web stats recently, and I figured I could address a few of the themes that came up in the keyword search.

1. How to tell when codependency gets bad
You can tell because your father just had surgery to get nerves severed in his feet, all because his fiancee' (of six years with no real wedding date set) had the same surgery and thought it might be a good idea.

2. Wedding pictures of Chuck and Connie Parsons
I'm sure they're a lovely couple, but I don't know them. I can't help you. I might scan some of my own wedding pictures and post them one of these days (the bride wore tennis shoes), but that's not going to help fans of Mr. and Mrs. Parsons.

3. Catheter in my cervix
Yeah, that was a fun experience. I'm not a big fan of the hysterosalpingogram. I'm amazed at how often this particular search comes up. Ladies: IT HURTS LIKE HELL.

4. Crazy Norwegian
Lemme hear you say "Uff da!"

5. Finally, hoople head
I don't know what it means, folks. It's a term from HBO's show, "Deadwood." I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and got no help. Also, if anyone could enlighten me as to what "bodaggit" means, I'd really be grateful.

Personal Update Time!

I know how you all look forward to news of my ovaries, employment status, and real estate prospects. Hey, maybe now that Beth and Chris are pregnant, I can take posession of the phrase, "My ovaries are slack-ass bitches."

I shouldn't blame my ovaries. I think they're doing their job, though I do have to pee on a stick later tonight to find out if my husband is going to get lucky or if he has to save it for another 24 hours. (Concentrate, sailors! Man the torpedo!)

Anyway, the gist of all that is that the plumbing seems to be functioning. Still. Cool.

NOTHING is going on with the sale of our house. I've suggested to my realtor that we list on Craigslist and the real estate section of E-bay, and she seems reluctant. I don't know if it's a fear of technology (but I still love technology...always and forever...I'm quoting from "Napoleon" again), or if she's just not that good a marketer. But I'm getting frustrated, and I don't always remain polite when I'm frustrated. Ya know?

I am unemployed for tomorrow, and then I have a solid week of work next week. It's going to be freaking difficult to wake up before 8:00 a.m. How easily I have slid into snoozy degeneracy.

Oh, so I Tivo'ed about two weeks worth of Buffy back in November. I was finally getting caught up with everything there, and Buffy was fighting "The One" and she and Spike were starting to get a little steamy again, but in a really good way. So then Angel came back and Buffy killed Caleb. That was the last episode I had recorded. And you know what I found out today?!? That was the SECOND TO THE LAST EPISODE OF THE WHOLE FLIPPING SERIES!!! I missed the last one! Arrrrgh! I guess that's a hazard of unemployment. And technology. (But I still love technology.)

Finally, anyone care to recommend a book that will teach me PhotoShop Elements 3.0 in a few easy steps? I'm a little adrift.

Not a Conversation I Expected to Have Tonight

While Matt and I were watching "Lost," the telephone rang. Due to the miracle of Tivo, we were able to pause it and I answered the call. It was my best friend from grade school and junior high. She's about the only one from my growing up years that I stay in touch with, and even then, we only talk three or four times a year.

I was, uh, a little surprised that she was calling to tell me that she'd just had her boobs redone. She's only 30 years old, but I guess I should note that she has had three children in the last ten years. So, I suppose that's a lot of the reason.

Still...it was just a funny conversation. I'm happy for her and all, but not sure that I'd have called her to let her know that I'd got my boobs done. (Which is so not on the agenda anyway.)

Bright and Shiny and New

I'm working on my new computer! Whee! Matt went down and got it today in Boise. Kevin and Chris will probably never speak to me again, but we went ahead and got the Medion PC with a 200GB hard drive. It's a monster-huge system and it was a very good price. I've just got to keep my fingers crossed that it's going to be a good value.

In the meantime, we also purchased and installed Norton AntiVirus, so we're somewhat covered there. The Norton package we bought also includes Norton Firewall. Can anyone tell me, should I definitely replace Windows XP's built-in firewall with the Norton program, or just leave things as is?

Anyway, this puts me like halfway toward being a web designer, right? Ha. Ha ha.

Take Your Vitamins

Study: Folate Good For Women's Blood Pressure

A vitamin called folic acid, or folate, is known to help prevent birth defects, but new research shows that folate holds another major benefit for all women.

Folic acid is found in orange juice, fruit, green leafy vegetables, beans, breads and cereals.

A study in Tuesday's Journal of the American Medical Association says folate can also lower blood pressure.

Researchers said the results were more dramatic in the younger women.

"Among the younger women, those who consumed more than 1,000 micrograms of folate a day, compared to women who consumed less than 200 micrograms per day, had a 46 percent reduction in their risk of developing high blood pressure," researcher Dr. John Forman said.

Huh. You'd think that my insurance company might relax a little on the cost of my prenatal vitamins, then. They're loaded with folic acid, I continue to have low blood pressure, and yet I get violated every time I go in for a refill. It's nuts...

Yessss!*

* You guys really have no idea how often I'm quoting from "Napoleon Dynamite," so I'll just have to tell you.

Mel recommended a web design book to help me learn HTML, XHTML and CSS.

Guess what? I get it! I really understand what it's saying! That may not seem like much, but I've been so intimidated by design stuff and all the little quirks that you need to understand to write your own code. But you know, it's not that bad. It seems to follow a very logical pattern.

I can't tell you how much more confident it makes me feel. If you're looking into learning design, I definitely recommend this book. (At least, I really recommend the first thirty pages or so.)

Helllllp!!!

I need some computer-savvy people to talk me through this. We've been working (unofficially, of course) off of Matt's work computer. Long story short, as long as we pay the internet fees, we're okay to use it so long as we don't look at terrible, dirty, obscene things.

However, I'm applying for several jobs in which about 50% of the work involves web design. (Thank God I'm really strong on the other 50% of the duties, right?) But I figure I can teach myself some basic stuff. In fact, I've convinced the ladies of Red Fish, Blue Fish to let me design a website for them. Additionally, Mel, my favorite Moxie Girl, is going to help me out. And the thing is, I can't really clutter up Matt's work computer with things like PhotoShop and uploading/downloading stuff. So I think we're going to buy a computer.

Would you all buy this one? In store, it's actually more like $650 after rebates. We've looked and looked, and it seems to me like you just can't beat the amount of MB and Mhz, and all that other computer crap that people think I should know about. I've checked both Dell and Gateway, and they can't seem to touch the amount of memory and whatall, and certainly not for anything under about $900+.

So. Help? What should I look for? Really, I just want to do my usual stuff on the internet, do a little word processing, and then design two webpages. Not that much, right? Advise me! Thanks!!!

I'll Pay You to Get Brian Wilson Off-Stage...

Matt and I watched the American Red Cross's charity auction tonight. It was pretty okay. Annie Lenox seriously rocked the house, even though she was singing so hard that, at one point, she visibly spit on her piano. I forgive her.

So there were all these celebrities taking phone calls. I was idly thinking how it would be really cool to be able to blog about talking to George Clooney or somebody. It wasn't until Jay Leno said something along the lines of, "If everyone watching right now pledged just one dollar, we could possibly raise millions," that I picked up the phone. Don't get me wrong--we've donated. But I do know that so much more is needed. That, and I could maybe develop a meaningful connection with Danny DeVito or something.

So I called, and to my surprise, someone picked up the line quickly! I thought, "Woo hoo!" And the guy identified himself as Craig. Craig who, he didn't say. Anyway, I made my pledge and hung up, and Matt and I got to wondering about which Craig it could have been. (Although we both know it was probably Craig Schwartz, CPA/Red Cross Volunteer from Topeka, Kansas. Or someone equally as unfamous.) But we thought maybe it could be Craig Sheffer. Okay, not very cool. Or Craig T. Nelson. Or...well, we ran out of Craigs. Oh well!

Ick. Eww. Ugh.

I got a new vaccuum a while back. It's one of those bagless uprights ("That's where races are won and lost--in the pits.") And it has a HEPA filter. I figured this morning that it was high time I cleaned it out.

ICK!!!

Seriously, you could probably clone both Matt and I, as well as the dogs from the gunk that came out of there. Between the container and the filter, I'm pretty sure I have everything I need to build a new dog, or at least a Pomeranian.

Matt has been getting all these sinus infections over the last five years or so, and is now getting allergy panels done to see if maybe there's something he could be taking shots for and avoiding the infections all together. In fact, he's going in on Monday to get poked something like 76 times with various different allergens to see what all he reacts to.

All that got me to thinking, as I was sitting there working with the filter, that maybe this super-duper vaccuum could help with all that. I looked at the attachments, the attachments looked at me, and we agreed that it was time. Time for me to vaccuum all the baseboards in the house. Time for me to get behind the entertainment center and clean. Time for me to get under the furniture, behind the bed, inside the closets. Do you know how much dust gets on electrical cords? Holy cow...

Anyway, I'm filthy now, but I think the house is clean.

Go Me!

After my big holiday food-fest, I knew it was time to straighten up my act and try to get back into shape. Right before I got laid off, an announcement came up that my employer was having a get-fit contest. I signed up with two other ladies from my office, and now we have weekly exercise goals and we get points for both exercising and losing weight.

I usually just focus on exercise. I don't like to pay attention to numbers, because I find that can get discouraging. But, we needed to establish a baseline, so I weighed last Friday. Today was our first reporting day, and guess what?

I lost three pounds! Hooray for me! Now I just need to keep up with it.

*Shiver*

The dogs woke me up this morning (why we didn't get their bladders removed, I'll never know) a little earlier than I wanted to. Good thing--it's friggin' icy in the main part of the house. It's 54.3 degrees in the house, and 3.4 degrees outside.

This is what happens when the fire goes out at night. I mean the fire in the woodstove--we are that archaic here in Cascade. Matt is going through his annual firewood paranoia right now. Every single year, he becomes convinced that we're going to run out of firewood before things warm up, and then instates a period of rationing.

I've started to put my foot down. If I'm going to be home most of the time, it has to be at least 63 degrees in here. I can't function on anything less!

This is Your Brain...On Drugs

Kalisah directed me to the 2003 White House Easter egg collection, wherein each state sends in an egg decorated in a way that expresses...some damn thing, I don't know.

Be sure to check out Idaho's catastrophe. It has lumbering Laboradors around a lake or something. Doesn't quite say "Idaho" to me, but I'm no artist.

You know what really kills me? The page is titled, "2003 Easter Egg Roll." "Egg roll." Hyuck.

Could Someone Please Tell Me...

...what exactly I know about the following two items:

1. Ability to plan, schedule, coordinate and manage multiple long term projects;
2. Skill in the areas of facilitation of meetings and workshops, team building and leadership.

Lacking personal knowledge of me, what would you all write? Can you give me some examples of where one could develop skill in the second one without actually having done that?

Sigh...job applications. What fun.

Promote Your Site

I got an e-mail from a new blog-finder/site promoter thingum. There's a ton of these things out there, but I usually figure that it's worth the two minutes to register and hopefully increase site traffic.

Anyway, I'd feel terrible if I didn't link back to (Blog Search Directory)them, since they did ask for that in return.

More Red Fish, Blue Fish

A while back, I posted about a band called Red Fish, Blue Fish. They're a duo, and have been playing this area for a month or so now. I stumbled across one of their CD's and just loved it.

So tonight, Matt and I headed up to Crusty's Pizza in McCall (which tastes a lot better than it sounds), where the girls from the band were playing a few sets for the dinner crowd.

This was the first time I've seen them in person--wow! From the sound of their CD, I was expecting much older women. There are places where their harmonies sound like the voices of every woman who has ever walked the earth, all telling their stories at the same time and with just a few simple notes. Maybe they have old souls. Anyway, I was pretty surprised to find two women who appeared to be much younger than me belting out these songs.

My former offer still stands--if you'd like to take a chance on their music (and I vouch for the quality), send me an e-mail. Their discs are $12.00 each, and I'd need about $3.85 for Priority Mail shipping.

Also, because we were out getting cultured, we missed all but the last 15 minutes of "Lost." Anyone care to clue me in?

Wow. Just...Wow.

Small Gene Tweak Confers HIV Immunity

A crucial genetic difference has been discovered that gives some monkeys but not humans HIV immunity, suggesting a new gene therapy for treating AIDS.

The discovery, by researchers from the UK National Institute for Medical Research, offers a clue to the origins of the AIDS epidemic. It suggests that HIV infection would not have become established in humans if the species carried the form of a gene present in some monkeys.

In humans, the researchers report, a single amino acid substitution (R332P) in the gene Trim5alpha can confer the ability to restrict HIV-1. Just this single change to the human gene should enable it to interfere with the replication process of the HIV virus to prevent infection.

"This discovery has significant implications for the development of effective gene therapy to combat AIDS," says Jonathan Stoye, the study's lead researcher. "In theory, it should be possible to take cells from an HIV-infected individual, make them resistant to HIV infection with the modified gene and reintroduce them into the patient. These cells could then block progression to AIDS."

Alternatively, says Stoye, drugs could be developed to activate the human gene.

Moonlighting

Sherri is away in Hawaii for the week (lucky), and she asked me to guest blog for her. Well, what can I say? She and Louisiana Casey did fill in here for me while I was having that glamorous vacation in southern Wisconsin over the holidays. And it's not like I have anything else to do with my time nowadays.

Anyway, stop on by and say howdy over there. I promise not to just duplicate my posts here over at her site. (The one below is important, though, and I hope everyone posts a comment at Greg's site to help raise money.)

Do Me a Favor

You've all probably noticed that I have a pink ribbon next to my picture over there on the right side of the page. While I am not personally a breast cancer survivor, my older sister was diagnosed with it at age 34. She had a radical mastectomy with reconstructive surgery, and 9 years later is cancer-free.

Because of my family history, I strongly suspect that I will wind up with breast cancer someday. I think it's important to be realistic about that; I hope no one feels that it is pessimism on my part. Early detection is the key, and awareness of your history and cancer likelihood could save your life.

All that said, please go visit this page and leave a comment. This man lost his wife to breast cancer, and is holding a comment drive to raise funds for breast cancer research and assistance programs for cancer patients. All you have to do is go to the page and leave a comment. He's got several "matching" contributors who will also donate for every comment he receives.

Please go take a look. A cure will be found for breast cancer, and in turn, for all other kinds of cancer.

Via Greg.

I Don't Think My Insurance Covers That...

I had a call from my friend, Tea, today. Tea lives in the Fort Worth area, and has the cutest accent EVER.

Tea took her car to a dealership to get some work done on it. Later on, a woman from the dealership called and said something like, "Wayull, I got some bayud news for yew. Yer car blowed up."

Blowed up?! I'd be wondering how big the fireball was and if anyone got hurt. Did that can of Fix-A-Flat under the seat get somehow punctured? Was it because I waited until 4000 miles between oil changes? Tell me what I did wrong!!!

Anyway, then Tea said something like, "Blowed up?"
Dealership Girl: Yep, blowed up.
Tea: Blowed up.
Dealership Girl: Yeah, there's some kahnda problem with your compressor and the framistan and the wonky-divot and such.

Okay, she didn't really say "framistan" and "wonky-divot," but I can't really remember the specific parts.

So really, the car didn't get blowed up at all. It just needs some new parts. I told Tea that "It blowed up," has got to be on a Top Ten Reasons to Find a New Mechanic list somewhere. Seriously.

The Indolent Poor

So today was my first day of unemployment since...spring of 1996. Even though I'm laid off, I'm still not really allowed to talk about work, but let me just say that my employer is fairly notorious for laying people off for portions of their career.

Anyway, here's what I did on my big day:

I attended the inauguration reception for Idaho's first female sheriff. Cool, eh?

I went to a follow-up appointment on my eye swelling. Everything looks okey-doke, and the optometrist asked me if I had arthritis. I said, "Well, I pop my knuckles a lot because they really start to hurt if I don't. Plus, my grandmother had little crab claw hands by the time she died due to really bad arthritis." So he said that there is sometimes a correlation there. Greaaaaat.

I came home and had an utterly absurd e-mail that said I wasn't in the list of "most qualified applicants" for a job in Boise that I had applied for. This was ridiculous because it is a job I did FOUR YEARS AGO in nearly exactly the same capacity. I have gone beyond that in the complexity of duties and responsibility since then, so I'm actually way over-qualified for the job. The thing is, this agency rates the qualifications of its job applicants by computer. (insert sound of crickets chirping here) Computer. Riiiiiight. So now I have to figure out how to contact them to get a real human being to rate my application.

I was seriously pissed about all that, so I decided exercise and the resulting endorphins were in order. I took the dogs out snowshoeing for 45 minutes, resulting in tired dogs, much less crabby me, and hopefully slimmer thighs in six to eight weeks.

I later went on to exercise with my regular workout group--did a two-mile walking video, plus 8 Minute Abs and 8 Minute Buns. Go me.

Finally, I gorged on corned beef hash for dinner. Oooo, yummy!

What a big day. And think, tomorrow I can wake up late and do it all over again.

Desperate for Content

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Via Erica.

Hair Woes

By now, many of you have this image of me in your heads. It's that one over to the right there; hair done in a short shag with a flip. Well, that picture was taken about 14 months ago. I really liked my hair like that, but one day I decided to grow it out again.

I grew up having long hair. I've cut it and grown it out several times, the most recent growing-out having been because I wanted an updo for our wedding nearly three years ago. After having it down to the middle of my back for a while, I hacked it off and donated it to Locks of Love.

So...it's now on it's way to being grown out. Want to see what it looks like now? Click here. Hint: it's the one on the left, though not so wavy.

Needless to say, I am hating my hair right now and I think I may have to scrap the growing-out plan. What do you all think of this?

By the way, I learned via tonight's post that Cameron Crowe was the writer for Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I totally did not know that.

This is Not Stumping

Cupie drew my attention to the fact that the 2005 Bloggie Awards are now open for nominations. Congratulations on your nomination, Cupie!

Anyway, go check it out. A lot of the categories are pretty original and very diverse. You can nominate your favorites through Monday, January 10, so there's not a lot of time left. Finalists will be posted to the site on January 20.

Have fun!

One Thing I Will Miss

One great thing about living in Cascade is that people really do pitch out and give you a hand, even if you don't ask for it or don't even really need it.

For example, one of my co-workers (the same one who was mad for quite a while that I was moving away, but seems to be over it) knows that Matt has been sick with a sinus infection since we got back from Wisconsin. We were up making a pot of coffee this morning when we heard a four-wheeler in the drive way. Here was my friend, out plowing the 8 inches of snow we'd got since yesterday evening.

We had him come in for coffee and muffins when he was done, and he said that one of the city snow-plow guys stopped and cleared out the bottom of our driveway and cleaned up all the mess the state snow-plow leaves when it plows the highway past our house.

Small towns can be awfully nice sometimes.

You Ain't Seen Nothin'

Thought I'd share another recipe with you. This one is from this month's issue of Cooking Light, one of my favorite magaziness. I happened to have this stuff on hand and whipped up a batch last night. They're delicious, and the coconut milk makes them very smooth and rich. You don't really get a strong coconut taste from it, so people who aren't fond of it probably won't have a problem with the taste.

Coconut-Cranberry Muffins

2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup sweetened dried cranberries
2/3 cup light coconut milk (I just realized I dumped the whole can in--it still turned out fine)
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 tsp. grated lemon rind (I used orange rind for lack of lemons and it was tasty)
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 large egg, lightly beaten
2 tsp. sugar

1. Preheat oven to 400F.
2. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cup; level with a knife. Combine flour and next 3 ingredients (through salt) in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk. Stir in cranberries, make a well in center of mixture. Combine coconut milk and next 4 ingredients (through egg), stirring well with a whisk. Add to flour mixture, stirring until just moist.
3. Place 12 muffin cup liners in muffin cups. (I just greased my muffin pan with oil--the muffins came out without a problem.) Spoon batter into lined cups. Sprinkle evenly with 2 tsp. sugar. Bake at 400 for 20 minutes or until muffins spring back when touched lightly in center. Remove muffins from pans immediately; place on wire rack to cool.

For Lack of Anything Better...

...I thought I'd bring you all up to speed on the various aspects of my life that have been notable in the last few months.

Our house is not selling. We lowered our price this week, and hope to see an upswing in the stalled-out real estate market here before too long. Matt's new supervisor is still telling him to not sweat about starting work in Boise until we sell the house. Hopefully, March won't roll around and he changes his tune.

Tomorrow is my last day at work for a while because of the lay-off I mentioned back in September or so. We finally did run out of work and money. I'll be going in one day a week or so, which will be good because there are a couple of payroll deductions I'd like to have covered. Unemployment insurance, here I come! I just bought Xena Warrior Princess Season Five today, so I know I've got at least 22 hours of lay-off time covered. I'll be doing a lot of season watching between Xena and Buffy.

I've got one job application active down in Boise right now. I talked to the supervisor of the position today and let her know that I applied and was interested in seeing her for an interview. (That's how we do things in the huge entity that I work for.) She said it could be a while before she has time to actively start going through applications. I also spoke to a lady that I have worked with indirectly off and on for the last 10 years or so. She's aggressively promoting me to people she knows who will be filling positions in the next 6 months. In fact, she told me that she really wanted me to apply for a job she knows of and that she'd go over my application and I could list her as a reference. If I got the job, my pay would go up (you're sitting down, right?) thirteen thousand dollars per year after the first year. Oy. Wouldn't that be nice?

As I mentioned below, I got a refill of Clomid, my fertility drug. The more astute among you may realize that means I'm not pregnant yet. That's okay--we know it could take a while. I'm just happy that everything looks like it is working with my bidness.

So. I think that about sums it up. Any questions?

Aisle Rage

I'm not the only one who gets completely whacked out at CostCo, am I?

I had to go to Boise today and stopped at CostCo to get my Clomid prescription refilled. During the half hour it inevitably takes to fill the jar with ten pills, I took a cart around and loaded up on provisions. Someone tell me why people think it's okey-dokey to stop stock still in the middle of the main aisles to: (a) answer their cell phone and talk for ten minutes, (b) turn to their companion and have an animated discussion of the merits of Gatorade v. All Sport, and/or (c) to ponder the meaning of life.

And then they get all pissy when I end up ass-holing them with my cart because they stopped so suddenly.

That's It?!

Now joining the list of donors is US President George W. Bush who has donated 10,000 dollars from his personal funds to the relief effort of tsunami-hit nations on Wednesday. Bush said: "The most important contribution a person can make is cash. There's huge generosity here in America."

Now, I'm a huge believer in leading by example, and I was really hoping to see the President give a personal donation. But...ten grand? Maybe I've lost perspective somehow, but it seems like someone who comes from such a privileged background, holds a steady, high-paying job, and has massive personal resources could likely pony up a little more money.

As my husband said, "That's like you and I donating fifty cents."

Celebrity Gossip--Because I Know You Care

Some tidbits I thought were interesting:

German supermodel Heidi Klum on Wednesday announced her engagement to Seal after the British pop singer proposed to her on a mountaintop while the couple were skiing in Canada. In a book published just last month titled "Heidi Klum's Body of Knowledge," the supermodel suggested she was cautious about getting married again. "I actually don't know that I'll ever get married again ... but we'll see," she wrote. "When we get comfortable with someone, we tend to stop making an effort, and find ourselves going to bed each night in sweat-pants and big old granny undies, with cold cream on our faces," she warned. What's your point, Heidi?

Jude Law is to marry Sienna Miller, his co-star in the film Alfie, after she accepted his Christmas Day proposal. Oh well, he wasn't on The List, anyway. She can have him, I guess.

Appeal by Pretty Woman Star Perplexes Palestinians He's been a prostitute's rich beau, an officer, a gentleman and a gigolo, but Palestinians can't fathom Richard Gere's latest incarnation as a cheerleader for their elections this weekend.

Well known for his vocal support of Tibet's Dalai Lama and celebrated for his captivating good looks, Gere urged Palestinians in a television commercial broadcast ahead of Sunday's poll in the West Bank and Gaza to get out to vote for a new president to succeed Yasser Arafat, who died in November. But many voters, already struggling with the labyrinthine politics of the West Bank and Gaza, say they have never heard of the actor who swept Debra Winger off her feet as a dashing Navy officer in the 1982 film "An Officer and a Gentleman" and were even less interested when they were told he's an American. I'm all about people having causes and stuff, but...huh???

I'm Lost, Are You?

Matt and I are getting waaay into Lost, ABC's new-ish show about survivors of a plane crash stranded on a tropical island. I know some of the rest of you are watching--hell, I think at least a third of the country is.

So tonight's episode: I was pretty sure I knew what the song was when Shannon started singing it. Being the big dork that I am, I went to the show's website and checked into one of the message boards. I was close, but not dead-on. It's a French song called "La Mer," but the tune is the same as that of "Beyond the Sea," by Bobby Darin.

I don't know what that means, but I was proud that I got that much out of it. My one complaint about the show is that it seems like nothing is getting resolved. Each episode has a whole new wrinkle to the plot and mystery runs rampant, but we never have any resolution. It's driving me nuts.

What the Hell?

I had a really weird thing happen yesterday.

I woke up and felt like I had something in my eye. After I showered, I went and poured a ton of saline solution on it. It felt better after a while, so I put in my contacts. I looked in the mirror and realized my eye looked really weird. A closer inspection revealed that my eyeball was literally bulging out on one side!

Needless to say, it scared the hell out of me. I made an immediate appointment with the optometrist I see up here (another wonderful thing about living out in the toolies--you don't always get to see quite the sort of doctor you'd like to). And you know, he can't figure out what the problem is. He said the swelling is something called "chemosis," which usually happens as a result of allergies. However, he said that the allergies often affect both eyes, rather than just one.

I'm weirded out. He's given me anti-inflammatories, I'm not allowed to wear my contacts for the rest of the week, and I have to go back to see him again on Monday. And he wants me to call him regardless of time or location if my eye swells up again.

Yikes...

"Tina, You Fat Lard!"*

*From "Napoleon Dynamite," my new favorite movie, in reference to his grandmother's llama.

I seriously think I was on a diet of about 8,000 calories per day while I was on vacation. If food was out, I was eating it. And Wisconsin has so many good things to eat, besides all the cheese.

They have: Kringles, a sort of pastry with scrumptious almond and sugar filling; Culvers, home of the Butterburger; Kopps frozen custard and some of the planet's best french fries; there are several PF Chang's scattered around. And what did I do? I gorged on all of it.

One night, I was walking downstairs in my sister-in-law's house and thought to myself, "God, I'm just walking down a flight of stairs. Why is my ass bouncing around so much?" Could it be, oh, let's see here...THE FOOD YOU'VE BEEN SHOVELLING INTO YOUR FACE FOR TWO WEEKS?

Sigh..fun time is over. I am officially on a slim-down/exercise 'till it hurts program. I can't go on like this, much as I want to. I no longer have the metabolism of a twenty year-old. And how can I forget all the trauma my mother put me through when her ass is following me through my life?

Atta Girl! (And Boy)

Actress Sandra Bullock Donates $1 Million to Red Cross As Relief for Tsunami Victims

Actress Sandra Bullock has donated $1 million to the American Red Cross to help relief efforts in countries affected by the deadly earthquake and tsunamis in southern Asia and eastern Africa.

Bullock, whose screen credits include "Miss Congeniality," "While You Were Sleeping" and "Speed," contacted the American Red Cross last week, the organization said Monday. She also donated $1 million after the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

Isn't it great to see people doing the right thing with their wealth? She's just gone up about nine places in my estimation.

Speaking of doing good things, Chris has started an online store where you can pick up cool Rude Cactus apparel and gear. All of the proceeds will be donated to varying charities. Check it out! Big pats on the back for Chris.

Oh, Relax!

I made a major shopping score today. I love after-Christmas sales, don't you? I mentioned before that I like to do yoga tapes, and so I went to Gaiam's webpage and discovered that they appear to be phasing out their VHS line entirely.

I managed to grab eight yoga videos, (including several by my hero, Rodney Yee) and a super-cool yoga bag that includes an extra mat.

Sweet!

Anyone else made any killer deals in the last couple of weeks? Any sales I should know about?

Mama's Home!

Hey, all! Happy New Year.

We rolled back in to our driveway at about 4:30 this afternoon. It is so good to be home, I can't even tell you. Being the anal-retentite that I am, I am fully unpacked with loads of laundry going. That may not sound like that big of a deal, but you didn't see how much shopping I did while we were gone. My poor shaggin-wagon was so loaded down by the time we got home that we were having a hard time closing the back doors.

Highlights of our trip are as follows:

I attended my first live yoga class with my sister-in-law, Susan. I'd been doing videos for about a year and a half now (sporadically, I must admit), and it was wonderful to attend a real class. I couldn't believe how loose my back and shoulders felt. It made me that much more excited to move to Boise, where I'll be able to attend classes any time I want.

We went to Midnight Mass with Matt's parents on Christmas Eve. The singing was sure purty, though I was thoroughly annoyed by the sermon. I have a hard time sitting through those anymore, so I tried my old fall-back for Wisconsin church services: counting the number of people attending Mass who wore Green Bay Packer memorabilia. This year was a big let-down, since I could only see two kids in GBP jackets. I noted that Harley-Davidson apparel is on the upswing, though.

Christmas was spent in Sheboygan with the whole family contingent. It was a really nice day and I'm always amazed at how much less Matt's family argues compared to mine.

Matt's parents gave us a nice check for Christmas, and we got Sirius satellite radio for our drive home. I cannot tell you how much more pleasant it made those 1800 miles.

We got to have dinner in Madison with my friend, Carla. She's one of my internet friends that Sherri wrote about. It was so great to see her--she's such a genuine person and we had plenty to talk about.

Finally? On the way home? (This one time? At band camp?) We went to THE SPAM MUSEUM! Don't make the mistake my brother did when I told him about it. I'm talking about the canned meat product, not those annoying penis enlargement ads you get via e-mail. True confession time: I love Spam. I think it's awfully tasty fried up and served on toasted bread with mayonaise. Plus, it's totally a cultural icon. The museum was a hoot, especially the video of the Monty Python skit with the Vikings in the cafe' singing, "Spam, spam, spam, spam, wonderful Spam!"

So that's a quick recap. Many, many thanks to Sherri and Louisiana Casey for doing such a great job blog-sitting for me. You guys rock, and I'm sending you something I made as a show of appreciation. As soon as I have time to make it.