...So I Loaded Up the Truck and I Moved to MT

Movable Type, that is. Stability... A wider array of publishing options...

The new site is CaseyOC.info, so if you happen to be linked to me, please update your tags.

The design and archives are in the process of being migrated, but all new posts will be made at the new site from here on out. Come on over!

The Sky is Crying

Actually, I think that's just rain. Still, it seems appropriate because I have to leave for Cascade in about an hour. Dad is meeting Matt and I up there and we'll get the RV set up, then Matt and Dad will leave me standing at the window looking forlornly out the itty-bitty window watching them leave.

It reminds me of Family Night at Outdoor School when I was in fifth grade. Up until that time, I'd been to maybe two slumber parties and a bunch of overnights at my grandparents' house. But that was it for familial separation and I was miserable at this week-long camp. I'm not sure why I was so wretchedly home-sick, but I made myself physcially ill over it. My parents and little brother showed up for Family Night, and I basically insisted I was going home with them that night. There was no way I'd be able to stand there watching their tail-lights leaving without me.

The first person I told was my father, who was in complete agreement. Then I told my mother, old Tough Love herself, and she said I was staying there and that it would be good for me to quit being such a baby. In fact, she got my teacher in on this, and they were both trying in their totally constructive way to make me stay. What did I do? As I was sobbing, I punched my mother right in the tits and ran out and threw myself in the car. My father was furious that my mother tried to make me stay. Looking back, (and I realized it even then) it was a miracle they didn't get divorced any sooner than they did.

Anyway, after that sad little story, I'll sign off for the day. I'll be getting back on during the week and updating to let you all know how it's going up there in the hinterlands. And if any of you are Verizon customers and want to chat with me for free in the evenings, e-mail me and I'll give you my new cell number and you can keep me company.

This was Fun

During the outage, I received a very entertaining e-mail regarding this site. Ages ago, I posted about a greedy E-bay user hogging up a bunch of shirts, one of which I was hoping to buy. And in that post, I listed that person's E-bay user name (christinemurray) and said she should rot in hell. So that's the back-story. Here's the e-mail:

hi, my name is christine murray. i am NOT the ebay user that you told to rot in hell. however, that is my name and i am extremely insulted by your comments.

my mother looked up my name on a search, and all she found was someone telling me to rot in hell.

thanks a lot. i hope a long lost friend doesn't try to find me and sees your nasty blog.

christine murray

So I realized that I totally need to print a quasi-retraction here. Any Christine Murrays out there who are not the E-bay user by that name, I do not want you to rot in hell. If, however, you are the one who sent me that e-mail, I'd like to state for the official internet record that I think you are a total wanker. What kind of goombaw would waste their time sending an e-mail out to someone they don't know about something that had nothing to do with them in the first place? Also (officially), if you are one of this person's "long lost friends," maybe this kind of looniness is why you got yourself lost in the first place, eh? And finally, if the only thing this person's mom could find on her name was that post, maybe she should get herself her OWN BLOG where she can say WHATEVER SHE DAMN WELL PLEASES.

Baby Jesus, It's Actually Working!

Jeez, no blog for a week! There were issues; Blogger took their own sweet time in figuring out the problem. I'm still planning on moving the site, but it looks like I'll at least be able to update now.

I did not get the job I interviewed for. Someone else, already worked for BLM, good qualifications...blah, blah, blah. And that's why I'm returning to Cascade in defeat this coming Monday. My employer wants me back to work now, and I don't think it's a good idea to quit (much as I feel tempted thinking about it). So I'm going to live in my dad's RV for the next month or so, then move into government housing when it becomes available in mid-May. Craptastic, eh? At least I get to work a 4-10 schedule, so I'll be able to spend three nights a week at home. My real home, not my camper home. *cry*

Really, that's the biggest news lately. I hope I still have some readers left after the outage...

I H8 Blogger

Well, I've been trying to post for two straight days a week, and have had no success. I also have no reason to think this post will succeed where others haven't, but you gotta keep trying. I haven't even heard back from Blogger support on the requests for status information I've sent.

Mel is helping me transition to a new site with support by Movable Type, but she's got a lot going on right now with her upcoming wedding and the changes may not be implemented soon. I hate having to apologize to you readers for problems Blogger has created with its instability, but I guess someone has to step up to the plate.

I had a great interview yesterday and I'm hoping to hear good news early-ish next week. You know you'll all hear about it when I know something. (Blogger problems notwithstanding.) Thanks for hanging in there, readers!

Cue "Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky)"

I did it! I got the third lesson of my scratcha-frickin' Dreamweaver class completed. And it only took me two weeks to do a lesson that should have taken 30 minutes. I had to reload the software and start from scratch, but it worked. Whew...now I'm only four lessons behind. Hey, you gotta start somewhere.

So I found out that my job interview on Thursday is going to be a phone interview. It's killing me from the nerves because I'm so damned charming in person, and I just don't know if I can adequately charm the interviewers' collective socks off through the telephone line. On the plus side, it does mean that I don't go through a major wardrobe crisis tonight that would have continued on into the wee hours of the morning. That's a plus. And I've got (as my husband refers to it) The Zit That Ate Cincinnati on my cheek. It does detract in the slightest bit from my overwhelming charm. *shrug*

Any words of wisdom for the interview? Would anyone like to share the worst interview question and answer you've ever heard (or even spoken)? Because of his cruel comments about my complexion woes, I'm going to rat out my husband. He was asked in an interview, "If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be?" His answer: "Uh...an elk. 'Cause...they're majestic..." I guess his sheer eloquence didn't intimidate anyone--he was offered the job.

Yay!

I have a job interview on Thursday! At least, someone called today while I was at the gym and wants to schedule one with me. This is for a job (since they haven't hired me yet, I think I can say) with the Bureau of Land Management as a "Fire Program Assistant," which is a nice way of saying "secretary." I'm hoping the fact that I've been a wildland firefighter in the past will serve me in good stead. That and I can type.

This is the job I'm kind of hoping for. Woot!

Hot and Bothered

Does anyone else reading go to saunas? And if so, do you tend to have really weird experiences in them, or is it just me?

We joined a gym that has both a men's and a women's sauna. Matt says nothing particularly odd ever occurs in the men's. Pretty much every time that I'm not in the sauna by myself, things that I find peculiar happen.

For example, early on I was sitting in the sauna, minding my own business. There was one other woman in there, and everything seemed fine. Then another woman came in and sat down on the bench above me. And she whipped out a bag of granola and an apple and had herself a little snack. In the sauna. With sweaty, partially dressed strangers in there. In fact, she actually dropped an oat or something on my shoulder at one point.

More recently, I went into the sauna and saw a couple of towels sitting on the bench. They weren't in my way, so I sat close to the brazier and started to heat up. Five minutes into the experience, a stark-ass naked older woman (50's? 60's?) walked in with a stack of wet t-shirts. She then hung them on the side of the brazier away from me, but seemed kind of huffy when I didn't move my legs into an awkward angle so that she could hang up her final piece of laundry. She sat in there for a few minutes on the towels (hers? or not?), maybe to make sure that I had no designs on her garments, and then walked out. Judging by the sounds, she headed for the showers and proceeded to cough, hack, and yark up lung butter into the floor of the shower for the next fifteen minutes. Then she came back, gathered up her t-shirts, and I later saw her naked ass just sitting there in the women's locker room.

The whole thing is starting to freak me out.

The Return of the Errant Blogger

Life is short. The days are short. And due to stupid freaking Daylight Savings Time, this one has been a whole hour shorter than the one before. Anyone else out there think that it is an idea whose time has come and gone? God, I hate it. I'll hate it even worse when I have to wake up at what two days before had been 5:00 in the morning to go to work.

In other news, Matt and I held an open house yesterday. We are now officially awash in red wine, as most of the people who showed up brought us a bottle. I started joking that now that we had all the vino, we could hold the *real* house-warming and really get down and funky. It was a really good day and tons of people showed up. We got lots of good reviews on the house, and it was nice to see many of my friends from when I lived in Boise six years ago. Those who didn't show up will never be invited to my home again. (Kidding...)

Finally, I've decided my daily schedule is officially wackadoo. The weekends aren't bad, but I don't think I'm getting as much done as I'd like to be. Granted, an hour and a half spent commuting to Emmett several days a week is taking a big chunk out of the day, but I'm also trying to juggle working out, applying for jobs, taking my online class (and I'm still sucking the big one there), and having enough down time to stay sane. I'm afraid I may have to start prioritizing--a position I've never been in before. I suppose finding a regular job should be Priority #1, no? There may be light at the end of that tunnel, as I found out last week that I'm on at least two "short-lists" for positions that I've applied for lately. Fingers crossed, y'all.

Computer Virus, Of a Different Sort

I have been doing so much computer work lately, and I think it's becoming very unconducive (is that a word?) to all my other, recreational computer activities. I'm checking approximately 8500 lines of data in a geospatial program and making sure it all conforms perfectly in order to run a computerized model. Sounds tedious, doesn't it? It is.

So at the end of the day, it's all I can take to get on the computer at home and do personal stuff. I'm three, count them: three classes behind on my Dreamweaver MX course. It didn't help that I encountered a major error while trying to do my coursework and ended up having to reinstall the program. And then there are all of Blogger's problems.

It's enough to make a girl take up knitting.

Damn...

I talked to my doctor's office this morning and they said the test was negative, but that if I didn't start my period in another 10 days, we'd retest. Fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with them I started my period.

Life's a bitch sometimes.

The good news is that there's always next month (and the month after that, and the one after that, etc.).

Thanks for the support!

Home Office

I mentioned I've been working on a special project for one of my employer's branch offices. The paycheck is nice, but what's bonus-cool is that I brought a lap-top home from work today with the software loaded on it that I need to do the project. Now I can work from home! In fact, I put an hour and a half into the project this evening.

Maybe it's the novelty of it, but I feel like I was a little more productive tonight. I made better head-way. Is it possible that there are less distractions at my home than there are at the office?

So tomorrow I'll be making the phone call to my doctor's office from the comfort of my own living room. I went and had blood drawn for a pregnancy test today and I'm supposed to call in the morning to get the results. It's hard not to get all wound up about it. We've known we were "subfertile" for about a year and a half now, and what with all the help from the doctors, we think we're closer to conception than we've ever been. And all that time, I've pretty much put a clamp on any optimism that reared its sunny little head.

So I guess if I don't have good news to share tomorrow, you'll all have to be extra nice to me, okay?

Please Bear With Me

Due to the recent problems with Blogger, I've decided to move the site to Movable Type. I hope you'll all bear with me through the move. This page will take longer to load on average (for the short-term), because I had to change some settings preparatory to the big shift.

I'm running into technical difficulties--I evidently cannot operate a computer without serious issues--so I'm going to take Mel up on her generous offer to help me transfer the site.

I am so frustrated with computers right now.

Oh. Yeah. I still haven't seen Aunt Flo, and this should be the first day of my new cycle. Feeling cautiously optimistic, which should not be mistaken for hope. We Norwegians fear hope.

Looks Like I'll Be Doing it the Old Fashioned Way

Well, I tried to take a pregnancy test today. In fact, I took TWO of them. I followed the directions to the letter. When the test is working, you see one line. As long as the test works, you're guaranteed to see that line. It could mean you're not pregnant, or you could get another line and that means you are.

I got no lines on the first test. That means you either didn't do it right or you got a bad test. So I reveiwed the directions and tested again. Still nothing.

At this point, the good old fashioned method should make things evident on Sunday or Monday. If Aunt Flo hasn't shown up by Monday, I'll go in for a blood test. In the meantime, we're all waiting, aren't we?

1-2-3, Not It!

Sherri tagged me with this quiz/survey thingamabob, so here's some stuff you probably didn't know about me.

1. What book would I like to be? I'm ASS-uming that the "I" in that statement means me. I'm going to go with "The Never-Ending Story." I wouldn't want to pick something that I knew the ending to. Plus, I'd love to swoop down on my cool, hairy, flying dragon and scare the crap out of people like Sebastian did.

2. Have I ever had a crush on a fictional character? This is going to sound funny, but the character Ahab in the book "Ahab's Wife" by Sena Jeter Naslund is pretty tremendous. I've never made it through "Moby Dick," so I'm not sure if I'd still like the original version of the character.

3. What is the last book I bought? "My Sister's Keeper," by Jodi Picoult. Ohmygod, it was wonderful.

4. What is the last book I read? The last book I finished was "Reading Lolita in Tehran," which I found tedious.

5. What book am I currently reading? "The Piano Tuner," and I can't remember the author's name. It's very good.

6. What five books would I take with me if I was stranded on a desert island?
Wilderness A-Z (can't remember the author again);
Back to Basics (My parents had an earlier version of this book and it was so cool.);
To Kill a Mockingbird, because it is my favorite book of all time;
Moby Dick (because I never finished it and even if I didn't like it, it is big enough to come in handy killing tarantulas or something);
A journal to write in.

7. What three poor idiots am I tagging with this FUN FUN FUN?
Louisiana Casey
Chris, who hopefully hasn't done this yet
Malia

As My Paw Used to Say...

"...Now that we've established what you are, let's discuss the price."

Trump Courts Beleaguered Jacko


LOS ANGELES: US mogul Donald Trump could come to the rescue of beleaguered pop singer Michael Jackson by offering the accused and cash-strapped star his own Las Vegas show, US Weekly magazine said today.


The magazine said Trump's organisation had spoken to the singer, who is on trial for child molestation, about giving him a permanent show at the billionaire's new Las Vegas resort that opens in 2006.

Trump's office, however, declined to comment on the report and a source at the hotel, who declined to be identified, dismissed the report. "That's just a rumour, it's not true," the employee told AFP.


Us quoted New Frontier Hotel and Casino boss Jack Wishna – who along with his billionaire partner Phil Ruffin has teamed up with Trump to develop the new Trump hotel – as saying he had spoken to Jackson's representatives about the proposed gig.


"There'd be moral clauses in the contract," Us quoted Wishna as saying of the faded King of Pop who could face up to 20 years in jail if convicted of sexually abusing a 13-year-old cancer patient in early 2003.

On a related note, I can't even tell you how many Michael Jackson songs I hear each day on my way to work (currently 45 minutes each way while I'm helping another office out with a project) on Sirius satellite radio. He's got to be making a few bucks from that, but I hear legal help don't come cheap.

That's It, I'm Suing

I woke up this morning and ambled into the bathroom, where I spied the paper cup I had placed on the toilet tank the night before to remind me to take my pregnancy test. If you recall, I went out and bought one of those early-early preg tests, and calculated according to the directions on the box that today was pee time. The box said you could test up to five days before you expect your next period.

So I peed in the cup, getting it all over my hand, as usual. I know that men design those stupid pee sticks, which is why I pee in a cup, even though it's still a mess. If a woman designed a pee stick, it would be the size of a ping-pong paddle and would be about five times as absorbent as the ones out there now. But I digress...

There I am, standing in the bathroom with a cup of pee. I open up the pregnancy test box and glance at the instructions, to find that the directions inside the box say that you have to test FOUR days before you expect your period, which makes it tomorrow. Sonsabitches. I should sue them for false advertising or something.

And the bottom line is that I still don't know. I may not even test tomorrow and just wait until Friday. There's something better about being able to say, "I don't know if I'm pregnant," than having to say, "Nope, not pregnant."

Dear Blogger:

Please tell Rosie O'Donnell to pony up the cash for some extra bandwidth, since she seems to be screwing up all us BlogSpot users. I can't get certain sections of my page to load right, and rumor has it that a certain celebrity's site is getting enough hits that other peoples' pages are going wonky from the strain on the system.

Sincerely,
All I'm Saying

And to you readers, so help me--if you click on that link to her blog, you're only going to compound the problem. Don't you do it!

My Imagination May be Gone, But I Still Have my Baby Pictures

I'm kind of at a loss for anything in particular to discuss tonight. Not that there aren't things going on in the world, but I'm not sure anyone is out cruising the net to see what my opinion on the Terri Schiavo case is.

So, in lieu of enlightened commentary on anything, here's a picture of me when I was about two. The kid next to me (sans pigtails) is Dru, who was a neighbor kid. We spent our first two years and roughly the next sixteen years after that hearing about how cute it would be if we got married. Well. That didn't happen, now did it? Thank God...

I'm the one with the pigtails... 

Sluggish Minion of Satan Survives Pet Store Fire

Pet Store Owner: Satan's Image on Turtle Shell

MICHIGANTOWN, Indiana (AP) -- A turtle that was the only survivor of a pet shop fire may have emerged with a hellish memento.

The palm-sized red-eared slider turtle, named Lucky, was the only animal to survive a fire last October at Dora's A-Dora-ble Pet Shop in nearby Frankfort, about 40 miles northwest of Indianapolis.

Owner Bryan Dora now says he sees an image of Satan's face on the critter's shell. He can spot lips, eyes, a goatee, shoulders and a pair of pointy horns on Lucky's back.

"The marking on the shell was like the devil wanted us to know he was down there," Bryan Dora said. "To me, it's too coincidental that the only thing to come out unscathed would have this image on it."

The image was not visible before the fire and Dora speculates the intense heat might have caused the shell's color to change. The turtle is healthy and there was no change in its behavior, he said.

The cause of fire that destroyed nine businesses or offices in the 1912 building in downtown Frankfort has not been determined.

"Turtles can hold their breath quite awhile," Dora said. "He may have taken one breath just before and held it through the fire. Except that the fire went on and on for hours."

(I'm so glad to know there was no change in the devil's turtle's behavior. Or is its particular brand of evil simply a little slower to manifest than might be expected of, say, a rabbit with the image of Satan on its fur?)

Wow

I mentioned the FreeCycle website/Yahoo group a while back. It's a national (or even international, for all I know) web ring of communities, and people post messages to get rid of usable stuff they have that they simply don't want anymore. For example, you might have a junky desk and you buy a replacement. Rather than selling it in the classifieds or something, you can list it on FreeCycle and someone will e-mail you and let you know they'd like to have it. As the name implies, the items all have to be free.

We've been wanting to get all our moving boxes cleared out of the garage, and rather than put them out with the regular recycling, I listed them on FreeCycle this afternoon. I literally had a taker for them within 10 minutes, and they're coming to pick up the boxes tonight! How cool is that?

Anyway, if you haven't checked the site out, I really recommend it. You could score something really cool, or you can get rid of stuff that you just don't need anymore.

Welcome to Mucusville, Population: Me

Godalmighty, I'm sick. I haven't worked since last Tuesday, and thinking about going to work tomorrow just makes me think, "Oh, they're going to love having me around."

It started with a sore throat, which took two days to turn into the standard head congestion and nose-blowing phase. It has since transformed itself into an unproductive, hacking cough. It's just greeeeeeat.

I talked to my doctor's office, and until we know for sure whether I'm pregnant or not, he really doesn't want me taking anything but Tylenol. And I've been sticking to that, with the exception of last night. I took one third of a dose of cough syrup. And if I am pregnant and have a baby with a third arm growing out of her forehead, I'll only have myself to blame.

We went to a drug store last night and I picked up an early pregnancy test thingy, but even at it's outside limit, I won't be able to test until Tuesday at the soonest. By Tuesday I'm really hoping that I'm feeling worlds better.

Matt's Fam-Damily

Irish Catholic Family... Yeah, What was Your First Clue? 

So this is just Matt's side of the family. (That's me in white, in case there was any doubt.) After the ceremony, the wedding photographer said something about, "I just want the family of the bride and of the groom to stay for a few pictures." About ten people went outside. The photographer repeated himself, this time more aggressively. I looked around at the thirty or so people still in the chapel and said, "This is just the family."

I Tried to Update Yesterday...Really!

Yesterday was our third wedding anniversary. I remembered that the new printer Matt bought is also a scanner, so I decided to break it in by scanning and posting some wedding photos. Sadly, I seemed to jam up the whole works by trying to upload photos that were too large or something. However, Kalisah was saying something the other day about Rosie O'Donnell having a BlogSpot blog (way to do it on the cheap, Rosie), and her traffic jamming up all the circuits. So I'll blame the celebrity.

Anyway, I'm going to try again later to rescan the photos at a lower resolution and post them. I'm not ignoring anyone, really!

Update to the Update Sonofabitch, I should have previewed the page. It looks like one photo did actually make it through. To answer Kalisah's question, and this is going to be roundabout, I wasn't preparing to sprint down the aisle or anything. See, Matt and I are exactly the same height when standing barefoot, and I wasn't sure it was a good idea for me to wear heels and tower over him. I hate, loathe and despise flats. And really, where on God's green earth was I going to wear a pair of white dress shoes again anyway? Finally, I wasn't about to schlep all over Las Vegas in a pair of uncomfortable shoes, so I just said, "Fuck it," and wore tennis shoes. They had blue trim, and that also fulfilled my "something blue" requirement. And now you know.

Bridal Footwear by New Balance 

Now I'm Stumping

I'm sure most of you reading this have had someone close to you who was diagnosed with some form of cancer. Maybe it was a family member, a close friend, or even yourself. Nearly two years ago, I lost one of my closest friends. The anniversary of his death is coming up and needless to say, I think of him every day. I think how far cancer research has come and how many lives are saved annually, but I wish so much that there had been a cure in place to save Mike.

To that end, I'm asking those of you who have been touched and want to see an end to this disease to go to my friend Carla's fundraising page, where she is gathering funds and participating in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life event. I'm not asking you to do anything major--a couple of bucks would be great. You can even add your name or that of a loved one to Carla's Roll of Honor, which is a nice tribute and a little way of shaking your fist at this disease.

And if you're still in a charitable mood, go visit my friend Tea's Muscular Dystrophy Association "lock-up" webpage. Every little bit helps.

(By the way, I'm so proud of my activist friends. I really appreciate people who do something about issues they believe in.)

Athletic Supporter

I think I've been to the gym every day this week. I'm proud of me.

However, I think joining a gym is probably similar health-wise to sending your young child to pre-school. You get a lot of stress relief out of it, but you end up bringing home a lot of new germs. So despite all my healthy intentions, I appear to be getting sick.

I can't blame it all on the gym. Matt has been hacking up lung butter for at least a week. Since he gets chronic sinus infections, we just chalked it up to more of the same. However, he went to see a doctor today (with a certain amount of nagging persuasion on my part), and it turns out he's probably got walking pneumonia. Yikes.

Now I've got a sore throat. I'm kind of in a quandry, too. See, I ovulated the other day and now there's a chance that I might possibly be in a family way, though we certainly won't know for another couple of weeks. I have pretty much been dealing with this slim margin of chance for the last several months, and have tried to behave appropriately. I don't drink anything alcoholic during those two weeks per month, and goofy as it is, I try to eat better. Once Aunt Flo arrives, I break out the whiskey bottle and the menthols. Kidding.

Anyway, what do you parents/pending parents think? Is it safe for me to take any cold medicine or anything? I am planning on calling my doctor tomorrow, for what it's worth...

Too Tired to Blog?

Sorry I didn't update yesterday: I was utterly pooped out. After work, I let a girlfriend talk me into going to a "Step & Pump" class at the gym. I enjoy step aerobics, but my frame of reference comes from a 3-month trial membership at Curves for Women. I don't think that place is exactly known for being challenging, so perhaps I had an unenlightened view of the step class.

I think I may have burned something like twelve million calories. I was also running sweat and my face hurt from laughing at myself as I was trying to figure out the high-speed moves.

In the meantime, have I mentioned that I've lost 8 lbs. since Christmas? Woot!

Check It

So you all know Chris, right? And you know Beth too, right? And you know that they're spawning a Cactus-Fish baby, right?

Well, they've got a kind of co-blog thing going on. You can check out an ultrasound shot of their wee winkerbean. G'wan over.

Have We Lost Our Bloom?

I've run into several interesting tidbits about blogging today through local and national media. Thought I'd share:

One, Apple Computer just won a major legal decision against blogs that reported insider information about upcoming Apple projects. The decision states that, ""trade secret laws apply to everyone regardless of their status, titles or chosen profession." I get the impression that it has something to do with these blogs' unwillingness to reveal the source of their inside info.

Next, Bill Cope, columnist for The Boise Weekly lambasts bloggers for both bad writing and the downfall of Dan Rather. I agree with the bad writing stuff (mostly), but seeing as how this post is the first time I've even mentioned Dan Rather, I think I'm innocent of the charges.

Finally, today's Sunday edition of The Idaho Statesman ran a pretty amusing Opus column. Sadly, Opus is not available online, so I can't direct you to the strip. The gist of it is that Opus has his own blog, and gets into trouble for falsifying a story about another news anchor through clever alliteration.

So, blogs and bloggers are under fire. I know I'm a sneaky, underhanded, sourceless hack of a "writer," and I guess it falls well within my evil purview to wonder if maybe major media outlets are starting to sweat about the upsurge in alternative news sources, and are trying to target stories of blogging gone bad. What do the rest of you conspiracy theorists bloggers think about it?

Where's Caller ID When You Need It?

What did I do today? Thanks for asking. I went to Idaho Public Television and answered phones for a few hours during their telethon fundraiser.

I probably answered something like 25 phone calls in two and a half hours. That doesn't seem like much, but it was during the afternoon and it was mainly kids programming at that time. Kids are not big donators to public television overall, I think. They are, however, frequent dialers.

My first call was from a kid who sounded like he was about eleven, and he called to let me know that he thought the telethon was very annoying and would I please pass that along to someone. Little did he know that I'd be passing it along to the blog-world, rather than someone who can cut down the frequency and length of these fundraisers.

The next call, which I answered, "Hello, this is Idaho Public Television. Can I take your pledge?" as per the instructions on my card, was responded to by a kid trying to make his voice very deep-sounding (as though I'd know who he was if he used his real voice). He said, "I'd like to pledge one thousand dollars," and hung up.

Those were the two most intelligent calls I had. Every other call was just a hang-up. So there you have it, parents. When you think your kids are settled down in front of Arthur or Cyber Chase, the little bastards are actually crank-calling fundraisers.

My Daily Colloquialism

I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my ass. I think Dolly Parton may have said that line in the classic movie, "Rhinestone."

Anyway, my whole work schedule thing is whacked out. While I'm still technically laid off from my job in Cascade, I've got scads of little projects to do for some of the departments at our Boise office. I'll put in something like 20 hours this week, then I've got two full weeks of work starting next week.

In the meantime, I am on the short list for that job that I applied for before leaving Cascade. I haven't heard back from another place on a job announcement that closed today, but that's to be expected. I need to tailor my application this weekend to fit another vacancy announcement, and there is yet another position on the horizon that probably won't be advertised for another month or so.

Not that I expect any of you to remember or keep track of any of that. But I'm starting to get myself into a panicky mode, because my employers in Cascade want me back to work in the first week or two of April. Unless I find another permanent job between now and then, I'm going to have to drive up there, work 40 hours, then drive home. (It will take about four days to realistically accomplish that.) Obviously, I'd a lot rather find a job.

Bleah.

Informal Poll

Apropos of very little, I was wondering:

How many blogs do you visit on a daily basis?
Do you do so at work, at home, or some combination of both?
Do you wish you knew of more good blogs to read, or do you wish you didn't feel so committed to read as many as you already do?

Answer in the comments, if you please.

Houston, We Have Made Contact

Praise the Lord, I am online in my own home. Let me repeat that for emphasis: I AM ONLINE IN MY OWN HOME!!!

*pauses to wipe a tear*

Of course, things couldn't possibly go smoothly. That would be totally out of keeping with the entire moving situation. Our upstairs phone line, which is where the office and the computers are located, is not activated. So I just spent 10 minutes packing all the PC stuff back down the stairs and getting it set up in the living room. I am sitting cross-legged on the floor with my back to the sofa, looking up at the monitor on an end table. Still, I AM ONLINE IN MY OWN HOME!!!

I hope some of you readers have stuck with me through the move. I know Sherri and Kalisah kept things lively around here, and I really appreciate the help.

So, want the Reader's Digest version of everything that's happened since Matt wonked me on the head with the firewood? 'Kay.

The closing did not go smoothly at all. We managed to get the moving truck loaded last Monday without incident, and then went to our title company in Cascade to sign the papers. We got there, and the escrow officer said that she had no loan paperwork from our buyers yet. Definite problem. We signed off on our end of the deal, made a couple of phone calls, and found out that the buyer's lender was about two days behind on the paperwork. So instead of moving into our new house on Wednesday (move-in was contingent on the sale in Cascade going through), we didn't get in until Friday. We ended up spending three nights in a hotel in Boise, which wasn't the end of the world, but it was very frustrating knowing our new house was sitting just a few miles away.

Anyway, all the stuff is in right now, the office should be set up and ready to go in the next couple of days, and I've been enjoying the hell out of myself at the gym. It's been almost five years since I've been able to work out at an actual exercise facility, and boy, is it nice. No real news on the job front yet--lots of birds in the bush, but none in the hand. So to speak. That means I'm semi-laid-off until April. If I don't have another job by then, I need to go back to Cascade and work my 40 hours a week until I get something else. Bleah.

I don't want to overwhelm any of you and I think length of this post might already have done that. Missed you all, and thanks for the well wishes about my noggin!

Yes, this is reprinted from my blog because I am a horrilbe, awful blogsitter

Did you watch "Fat Actress"? I know, you don't have Showtime, right? Me either. I mean, who does, really?

The thing is, her PR dude is certainly earning his keep, because I have been reading about this show EVERYWHERE. USA Today claimed to have liked the show. They compared it to "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and said that it works because Kirstie Alley is so funny. But The New York Post had this negative review of the show.

Then I found out I could watch the entire pilot episode ("Big Butts") here. It was a bit of a train wreck, I'll admit. Seeing her sobbing on the bathroom floor after stepping on the scale and then getting a call from her agent on a job offer as spokesperson for Jenny Craig - not all that funny to me. But parts of it had me giggling a bit.

Other parts (like the whole fat-white-women-can-have-sex-with-black-men-because-they-like-big-butts storyline) seemed a bit contrived. The black-men-have-bigger-packages part has most assuredly been overdone.

It is very much in the vein of "Curb" - you can pick out most of the improvised parts. Her supporting cast was EXCELLENT - Rachel Harris as her make-up artist that changed her name to Kevyn in honor of her idol Kevin Aucoin and Bryan Callen (who I totally recognize yet haven't seen anything he's done according to imdb) as her somewhat effeminate assistant were, IMHO, better than Kirstie.

So go watch the clip and tell me what you think. Tell me it sucks and you could only take four minutes of it. Or tell me you're calling now to order Showtime. I'm taking a poll.

Hello!

Hey gang, it's Casey! I'm on a borrowed internet connection while we're trying to get our DSL set up (which is not going so smoothly). I'm actually at my dad's place, and I'm not even going to check past posts or anything. I'd hate for this site's address to get into Dad's hands. Heh.

Anyway, the move did not go smoothly, but we're in now and things are great. Matt got a huge new TV, which I have nicknamed Big Martha. He's been pretty well rooted to the spot since that occurred. ;-) My head wound is doing just fine and there are no ill effects from that.

So everything is great and thanks again to Sherri and Kalisah for guest hosting. I'm really hoping to be back up and running by Monday, but we'll see.

6th Grade Humor

A joke for you from My Kid:


Q: Why couldn't G-Unit get on the bus?

A: They didn't have 50 Cent.

What a drag

You know, I'm ordinarily not a big fan of PETA's. They're extremists and I think they often do more harm than good for their cause. At any rate, I gotta side with them on this one...

From today's Page Six:

March 2, 2005 -- Star Jones Reynolds is worried that the public won't be able to tell the difference between her and drag queen Flotilla DeBarge.

After PAGE SIX revealed that PETA had hired DeBarge to parody the fur-loving Reynolds in a new ad campaign, the corpulent co-host of "The View" sicced her lawyers on the animal-rights organization.

In a humorless letter to PETA, Jones' lawyers wrote: "While the First Amendment . . . protects legitimate parody, [it] does not sanction the misappropriation of a person's identity for purposes of trade or advertising . . . Thus, PETA does not have the right to use an impersonator . . . As you prepare your advertisements, we urge you to keep this distinction in mind."

But the lawyers are insulting Star, because their argument only makes sense if the public could actually mistake DeBarge for her. They seem to be saying their client resembles an overweight, 6-foot-tall drag queen.

Hey, if the size 12 red sequined pump fits...

Happy Hump Day!

I feel like a terrible blogsitter. Although, I haven't done much on my own blog the past couple of days either. Forgive me, Casey.

It seems like everyone in my office is wearing green today, myself included. Particularly kelly green and pistachio green. It's the strangest thing, especially in NYC where black is the perennial favorite. I'm wonderig if green is the new black.

I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of spring. I mean, it's March already and we're still in the throws of snowstorms and otherwise dismal weather. I can't wait to bust out my spring clothes, see daylight before and after my workday, and enjoy all the little pops of color that come with blooming flowers and budding trees. And the warm, breezy weather isn't bad either.

What are you looking forward to most about spring?

Reader Poll Monday

Hey everybody, Sherri here. Since people seem to like polls, I thought I'd post one (some of you may notice that it's the same one I have going on my blog today...shhhhhh).

1. Are you right or left-handed?

2. What's the weather like where you are?

3. What is the achievement of which you are most proud?

4. How do you like your eggs cooked?

5. Flip-flops: love 'em or hate 'em?

6. If forced to choose, would you rather date someone who has lots of strange tattoos, or someone who has lots of strange piercings?

7. Did you watch the Oscars last night? Anything worth commenting on?

8. Which is worse: a paper cut or a hangnail?

9. What size shoes do you wear?

10. How many fingers am I holding up?

I hate when I go to read a favorite blog and then realize I'M SUPPOSED TO BE POSTING THERE

Woops. Huh. I don't have any updates for you on Casey or her head or the move if that's what you're looking for. What I do have are some comments about the Oscars. Did you watch the Oscars? What'd you think? Didn't Kate Winslett look fabulous? Wasn't Laura Linney hideous?

I guess the jury is out on Chris Rock. I thought he was pretty funny. USA Today trashed him. They called him one of the "worst hosts ever." They said he didn't make enough jokes that pertained to MOVIES.

Personally, I thought the fact that the audio kept dropping out and the stagehands kept dropping really big pieces of equipment backstage was more of an immediate problem.

And I don't think they'll be giving out any more awards in the aisles again. What a stupid idea.

And the whole Red Carpet thing has gotten so out of hand. Not the media or the papparazzi or the noise or the fans or the obscene gradiosity of it all. No, no, I'm fine with all that. I mean those blasted professionals that E! and TV Guide hire to "work" the Red Carpet.

I'm pretty sure E! just picked Star Jones-Reynolds because they wanted to find the one person on the face of the Earth who could give Joan & Melissa a run for their annoying and inappropriate money. If I could just say one thing to SJR, it would be: IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. Nobody cares that you're wearing the same jeweler as Hillary Swank, OK? Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup. We don't tune in to hear you blabber. All we really want is to SEE THE CELEBS. So move your fat ass out of the way.

And poor Kathy Griffin. Really, she has the worst job in the world. Because there has to be a #2 to throw it to, seeing as Star has no idea how to entertain the viewers when she's between celebs. So they put this poor girl up on scaffolding, miles away from the action, so she doesn't really have anything to report or say. They just stick her up there and say, "OK...be funny." So of course her jokes are lame! Who could work that gig?

I wonder if Star and Joan and Melissa actually get seats in the auditorium. Do you think they do? I bet they don't. Not that they didn't have plenty of empty ones to give away last night.

Trauma Ward

I got to go to the emergency room today! Obviously I'm okay, or I wouldn't be typing this. Still, though... We had a bunch of leftover firewood, and a friend of mine came to get it this morning. We were helping him load his truck, and Matt and I were in the woodshed getting armloads of wood. I was crouched down below him, and he put an extra piece of firewood on top of the stack he had in his arms. Well, it fell off. It found a nice, soft landing spot over my right temple.

I stood up and went into the house, because I didn't want to cry in front of my friend. (Big tough girl that I am.) I went into the bathroom and sat down with my gloved hand held to my head. Then I realized that my glove was wet, and looked at it. Yeah, it was a gusher. Matt came in and looked at me, and I said, "I h-huh-have to g-g-g-go to the huh-hospital." And away we went.

No stitches, no concussion. All I could say was, "Please don't shave my head." And for the record, I got a tetanus shot today. Now you can all remind me the next time I get injured that I don't need one.

Needless to say, Matt feels absolutely horrible. It didn't help that the emergency room folks kept asking how it happened, as if they thought I'd change my story and admit that he was whaling on me or something.

Anyway. This is probably my last post for a while. I need to be packing boxes and cleaning, not sitting here on the computer. But hey, how could I not blog about that?

Mmm!

Can you guys believe that today was the first time in my entire 30 years of life that I ever ate sushi? Oh boy, was it ever tasty. What have I been missing all this time?!

If you're through the area, stop at Buffalo Gal Market & Deli in Donnelly for lunch or dinner. You flat-out can't beat the food you get for a very reasonable price. In addition to sushi, they make a chicken cordon bleu sandwich that I am trying to convince them to rename "Orgasm on a Bun."

Are They Made With Real Girl Scouts?

We made a brief stop at the local grocery store this afternoon and there were four little pixie-girls hanging around a card table. And what did they have this fine day? Girl Scout cookies, of course!

Damn, those things are expensive. Yes, I bought seven boxes. But it came to $25!!! So now, in addition to the 457 boxes we currently have to move, I've added seven little wee ones.

Cha-Ching!

Idaho Man Hits the Powerball Jackpot

BOISE, Idaho - A 22-year-old restaurant manager is the winner of Wednesday's $18.7 million Powerball jackpot.

Eric Kyle bought the $1 Powerball ticket on a whim at a Big Smoke store last Tuesday, and didn't realize he held the winner until he saw news reports on Thursday.

"I was instantly shaking," Kyle said during a news conference at Idaho Lottery headquarters Thursday afternoon. "It's something I dreamed about for a long time."

Well, good for him. The article goes on to say that if he takes the lump-sum, the State of Idaho will get something like $800,000 in taxes. Speaking as the spouse of a State employee, that'd be cool.

The Place is in Good Hands

I wanted to extend a "thanks in advance" to Sherri and Kalisah, who will be guest-posting for me during my move. (Sherri, I think you're still active as a member. Kalisah, let me know if you don't get the invitation I just sent.)

I think I'll only be without ether for a week. Hopefully less than that. I've put my husband in charge of figuring the internet connection stuff out for me, and I think we'll be getting DSL. Good thing the iPods are cheaper now, huh? *grin*

Anyway, I'll be around through Sunday, so you haven't got rid of me yet!

Getting Edjumacated

I did it: I went ahead and signed up for an online class to teach me Dreamweaver MX. I've been spinning my wheels on the web design stuff, and realized that I needed some help in figuring out what to do. (And I don't want to pester Mel too much. Even though design geniuses should try to help we numbskulls as much as possible.)

It will be starting in March, well after we're settled in Boise. There are two lessons per week, and you can log in and review the material, take the quiz, and complete the exercises any time that's convenient for you.

Groovy, eh?

Write Like an Egyptian

In case you were wondering how to write your name in ancient Egyptian.

Never know when that might come in handy.

Surrounded by Boxes

We got the good news today that the appraisal is scheduled and everything is on-track for our closing on Tuesday. Let's all shout a collective, "Hooray," shall we?

HOORAY!

The moving van will try to roll up our abysmal driveway on Monday, whereupon hordes of game wardens will fill it up with all our wonderful junk, then I run the vaccuum around one last time, and we go sign papers. We'll head to Boise, overnight in a hotel somewhere, and sign on the new house Wednesday. Our realtor thinks we can take occupancy of the new place on the day of closing, and we're hoping that works out. (Sometimes, in fact, usually it doesn't work out that way. Your $$ has to overnight in a financial institution for some reason.)

There are definitely some things about Cascade that I'm going to miss. I walked in to work today and there was a five-pound bag of Hot Tamales on my desk, a "parting gift" from that co-worker of mine who sulked for three solid weeks in November when I told him we were moving. Sweet, eh?

The women I exercise with are going to be much-missed. Where in Boise am I going to be able to pick up good gossip about people I know slightly? That's where I learned about the girl who had stomach pains and delivered a baby. (Update: She knew she was pregnant and just didn't want to tell her parents. It's so much gentler when your amniotic sac just explodes all over the kitchen floor, dontcha think?)

Sigh...I'm glad that there will be good times and good people to miss. I'm grateful for that, and I'm so looking forward to the next phase of my life.

Finally, can anyone guest-blog for a week or so until my computer/internet connection is reestablished?

HH, GWB

Matt and I went to see "The Aviator" tonight. I knew next to nothing about Howard Hughes prior to seeing it. Odd man...it's a shame that today's medication wasn't available in the 1940's.

We were trying to decide what the moral of the tale was, and we finally came up with, "Even if you're crazier'n a bedbug, you can achieve anything you want in this great nation, provided you have an unlimited supply of cash."

You know, you combine that philosophy with "Animal House," and I think you've got the life & times of George W. Bush.

Karma Chameleon

Fire up the Good Thoughts Generator, guys: our realtor called on Thursday and said that the buyer for our house in Cascade has evidently not scheduled his appraisal yet. That's a contingency of his loan, and the final thing he has to go through to be ready for closing a week from tomorrow. The realtor is supposed to call us as soon as she knows what the scoop is, and we've been on pins and needles all weekend.

Send me good thoughts and karmic blessings, willya? I'm about to lose my marbles.

Oh. Okay.

I just learned tonight that you can buy caskets on the CostCo website.

Good to know...

"Lasadh" is Gaelic for "Poach My Content"

I stole this from Sherri, who was getting mad comments from her reader polls. So in the spirit of unoriginality, I'll ask you all:

1. How often do you floss?

2. Women: briefs, bikinis or thongs?

Men: boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs?

3. Do you wear glasses?

4. What did you have for breakfast?

5. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

6. Coke or Pepsi?

7. If someone handed you $100 right now and told you you had 5 minutes to spend it, what would you buy?

8. How many states have you lived in?

Social Insecurity

This is very interesting, particularly for those of us who are not very close to retirement. Check out the benefit amount you'd receive at retirement from the Social Security program as it stands today, then see what you'd get under the President's plan for privitization: Benefit calculator.

You Hear About it on the News...

...but you never think it'll happen in your own town. As I was at work today, I heard LifeFlight (the air ambulance from Boise) go over the office twice.

I heard this evening that one of the flights was taking a newborn down to a neo-natal care unit. It appears that a young woman in town was complaining of severe stomach cramps. Let me repeat that: severe stomach cramps.

The doctors examined her and it turns out she was in labor! She didn't even know she was pregnant. Yoicks.

Sounds like the baby is going to be okay, but since it had no prenatal care at all, the doctors up here wanted to play it safe.

Soul of Discretion

Well, I haven't made any great strides toward getting the new game warden married to my friend. Judging from all your responses, it sounds like the best thing to do is to encourage situations where they could get to know each other independently of outside pressure.

I think that'll happen. He works in the woods, she works in the woods. It's a small town. Since we're moving anyway, I think I'm going to have to let it all work itself out. But from what I've observed of him so far, I think they'd really hit it off.

I guess if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Right?

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

What do you guys think about setting people up for dates? Is it too risky, or are you just offering a couple of friends/acquaintances an opportunity for happiness?

The reason I ask is because the new game warden for this area (Matt's replacement) is sitting on our couch right now, and I keep thinking how he might be an excellent boyfriend for a young friend of mine. He's outdoorsy, has a stable job, and appears to have adequate personal hygiene. Who could ask for more, right?

However...do you think matchmakers run any risk of grief later if things don't work out? I honestly can't recall ever having been set up with anyone, so I don't have much frame of reference.

Is That a Wocket in Your Pocket?

I was looking online at job openings in the Boise area. I found an interesting position: a baggage screening specialist for the Department of Homeland Security.

It's a tiny bit tempting, actually. A lot of my experience would translate pretty well. On the other hand, I have a very saucy tongue on me, and there's a certain risk that I would inquire if someone had a wocket in his or her pocket.

Also, Homeland Security? Do you guys think that sounds like a reasonable fit for me? I think I'm pretty forthcoming about myself here on the blog, and I don't try to hide behind any artifice. You know I am something of a flaming liberal. So...should I think any more seriously about it?

Attention, All Doubters!

In the event that you doubted the veracity of my rubber-cleated golf shoes story, I present you with the proof:


That's me--to the right of the dog 

This is my sixth grade year, so it would be the second pair of those shoes. I'm grooving to those pink socks, aren't you? I'm not really sure what was up with the dog--I remember it wandered around our school a lot and got in the way when we played soccer.

Blonde Who Can't Focus, Dammit!

God, I have been so scattered lately. I've got about a half-dozen major projects going on right now, and I feel like I've been completely ineffective at all of them.

I have been:

Packing
Working on job applications (2)
Trying to keep the house up
Working full time
Exercising regularly
Trying to figure out how to put a website together
Working on loan and escrow paperwork
And, you know, trying to get pregnant.

Jeez. Anyone out there want to do pro bono personal assistant work? (For everything but that last one.)

Make it Stop...

Owwwwwww. I have such a whalloping headache right now. It came on so suddenly. Plus, my left ovary has felt like someone was pinching it in a vise pretty much all day. That's how I know I'm ovulating. Being a woman is SO GREAT!

/grump

Proof Positive

I had further reason tonight to be thankful that we're moving out of Cascade. The buzzards are definitely circling overhead as far as the whole county is concerned.

I was at a meeting that was attended by a member of one of the area Chambers of Commerce. Now, I've never been a business owner. I guess I lack the hunger that comes from being directly responsible for your own fiscal survival. But as an Idaho native, there are some things that I cherish about this state and feel fully equipped to speak of as an expert.

One of those things is that you can go for miles and miles without seeing billboards, strip malls and other glittery attempts to get you to stop and drop your cash on souvenier schlock. However, there are those who really want to sell more t-shirts, lattes, hotel rooms, etc. And gee whiz, there's all this great, untapped advertising space out there in the woods!

For heaven's sake, can't we just leave well enough alone? It's funny how that makes me grateful to move to Boise, isn't it? But there's something so dreadful in thinking of sitting on my front porch here in Cascade over the next ten years, watching as everything I love gets ruined. I think it is better to live someplace that is already ruined. It hurts less.

Closure is Good

All area girls with mohawks can sleep a little easier tonight:

Woman Wanted in Scalping Attack Turns Herself In

Marianne Dahle, the 26-year-old Caldwell woman accused of scalping a 16-year-old Nampa girl in January, turned herself in to the Ada County Jail about 9:30 today.

Story Time

I'm tired, cold and crabby tonight. Because I don't want to piss and moan about all that, I figure I'll tell you a story from my childhood. Most of these stories have lingering trauma associated with them, though in a very mild form. I'm looking forward to traumatizing my own children one of these days.

I was born and raised in the town of Garden Valley, which is about 40 miles north east of Boise. It took about an hour to get to the big city, and because my dad was a real estate developer, he often had to go to town for escrow closings and such.

Dad's meetings usually happened during the week, while my little brother and I were at school. Because no one wanted to waste the gasoline of another 80 mile round trip on a weekend, Dad often picked up basic groceries and other necessities while he was out.

One day, it was decided I needed new school shoes. That morning, my dad had me stand on a brown paper sack, and he traced the outline of my feet on the paper. That night, he came home in a very excited mood because he had scored me two years' worth of shoes on sale at KMart. (I didn't care--I was ten years old.) However, he handed me the sack and I found...drumroll...two pairs of MacGregor rubber-cleated golfing shoes in my current size, plus a second pair in the next size up. My fifth grade class photo shows me sitting in the front row with my golf cleats on conspicuous display.

I like to tell my husband that this is the reason I must buy nice, new shoes as often as possible.

Hrm.

I hope to high hell (forgive me, Mel) that Mel's site is just going through a little down-phase. I just loaded Sherri's new button over on the blog roll column, and everything seems to be a little woopsy when I preview the edits.

Someone please tell me that everything looks normal. And while you're at it, go check out Mel's work on Sherri's blog. Awesome, as usual!

Reason Number One Why I Don't Go to Hot Springs

Police: Idaho Teen is Tied Up and Scalped

BOISE (AP) — A 16-year-old girl was allegedly tied up and scalped with a 4-inch knife in what police say may have been an act of revenge by another woman.
The girl, who had a punk-style mohawk haircut before the attack, is recovering at home. Doctors could not reattach her scalp, which was found near a hot spring.

I have a number of reasons why I don't stick my bottom in the many hot springs to be found around this part of Idaho. First and foremost is that funky shit goes down at hot springs. A guy was murdered at a hot spring about 10 miles west of the above-mentioned place a couple of years ago. Additionally, some people go to hot springs to get busy. Ya know. And why in the name of all that is holy would I want to put my nether regions anywhere near a place where someone just got all sticky? Another notable reason is that lots of people around here who hit the hot springs choose to do it naked. And believe you me, they're never people you want to see naked. It's usually an extremely hirsute redneck couple who brought several bottles of malt liquor and a pack of Trojans along with them.

So. In case you were thinking of asking me to go to a hot springs or something...

Dear Lord, Please Make Someone Give Me a Job...

I was in Boise today and did sort of a pre-interview with the former boss of a friend of mine. If I were to get this job, I'd have a decent, 40-hour workweek, make exactly the same money I'm making now, and I'd be working about 2 miles from our new house. It would be so nice. And I've received some roundabout feedback that I made a really good impression and that he thinks he'd like to hire me. Unfortunately, it's not something that can be done noncompetitively, so now I have to stress out about the whole application process. It's all done online, and a freaking computer rates your answers and decides if you are (a) qualified for the basic duties, and/or (b) among the highest-qualified applicants. I could heave, because the whole thing is a total crapshoot. Anyway, it's nice to be wanted, right?

In the meantime, I've scared up about five weeks of full-time work, so it looks like I'm going to be rejoining the ranks of the employed. My total lay-off? Three weeks. That's almost like no vacation at all...

Temper, Temper!

I've mentioned before that my father has an anger management problem. Unfortunately, it seems to be something of a family thing, though greatly moderated in my siblings and I. The thing is, I've got a really long fuse, but it's attached to an enormous powder-keg.

I can usually feel when I'm about to lose my marbles, and that's something that I have been trying varying coping methods on for about three years now. When I internalize stress, I mess up my body. My shoulders tighten, which throws off my back and neck, and wreaks havoc on my hip problems. For a while, I was on pain killers for the hip. After a few days, I realized that not only was the pain gone, but so were the feelings of homicidal anger. (I exaggerate a touch there, but it's hard to describe the feeling of standing on the brink of my own temper--it's sort of like standing on the edge of a live volcano and looking into the crater at the roiling magma.) Turns out the pills were also a mild anti-depressant. Sadly, I didn't get to stay on those very long due to our desire to have a baby. Gotta keep the old system clean.

So I turned to yoga. That works great, as long as I can discipline myself to do it. But it's only a proactive method--I can't just drop into downward dog when I'm about to flip my wig. I'm trying really hard not to comfort eat. And I don't want to lose my temper at my husband or the dogs.

I'm telling all this because today, as I was sitting at the computer staring foggedly at PhotoShop and trying to figure out what comes next, I got a call from my hair stylist down in Boise. I have (had) an appointment to get my hair cut off tomorrow. Turns out her baby has the croup, and she can't take the baby to day care until she's better. For many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that it's still a 170-mile round trip for me to go to Boise, I can't exactly reschedule for any other day. Because I have no idea when we're going to town next, and because her schedule is very busy, I decided that the only thing to do was try to set a new appointment for after we move to Boise. The new haircut date is March 16. I've been waiting five weeks already.

Still with me? After I got off the phone, I hid in the bathroom with tears rolling down my face. Why? Because it was the one thing that I was looking forward to this week. It was the one thing that I was doing for myself. The rest of next week is taken up with work (yeah, they called me back in again), real estate stuff, and all the other normal living things. So one good thing was looking awfully...well, good.

To bring this all back around, I decided to take a walk by myself, up behind our house. I stomped two miles through the snow in 35 minutes, and by the time I walked back in the house, I no longer felt like I was staring into the crater full of lava. I have resolved now to exercise every time I feel like I'm about to lose it. And here's the good part: I'm calling my new coping mechanism Hissy-Fitness.

I Hate Feeling Like a Drooling Idiot

I swear, I'm feeling so stymied by all this web page design stuff. I've got books on (X)HTML, CSS, PhotoShop Elements 3.0. I've got online tutorials for Dreamweaver MX. I've got patient and cooperative friends who are trying to help.

What don't I have? A clue. I think I've entered into Too Much Information-ville, Population: Me. The thing is, I don't understand how any of this all fits together.

To that end, I'm really thinking about taking a class. Or two. I just found out in today's newspaper that the university in Boise offers this stuff online, which is something I should probably already have thought of.

*sob* Any words of wisdom and/or encouragement from others out there who have fought this battle?

Any PhotoShop Elements Experts Out There?

Advise Me? 

Here's what I'm trying to do: notice how the 's' in the last word is really not even remotely 's' looking? I'd like to copy the 's' in the second word and paste it over to the last. Anyone know how to do that?

I've got the question in to Mel and Dee, but I'm welcoming advice from anyone who knows what to do. Thanks!

Further Proof that People are Ridiculous

Teens Sued for Cookie Delivery to Neighbor

A pair of Colorado teens surprised a neighbor by baking cookies — no charge.

It cost them $900.

Taylor Ostergaard, 18, and Lindsey Zellitti, 19, decided to stay home from a dance in July in order to surprise their neighbors with an anonymous delivery of homemade cookies.

But one of their neighbors, Wanita Renea Young, 49, became so terrified she suffered an anxiety attack and called the police. Young sued the girls and this week was awarded $900 to recoup her medical bills.

The two teens recounted the incident on "Good Morning America," and said that though they were disappointed by the judge's decision, they weren't angry and would continue to do good deeds.

After finishing farm chores for the evening, Ostergaard asked her father if she and Zellitti could bake cookies and deliver them to a few neighbors in rural Durango.

The girls knocked on the doors only of homes with lights on, left the cookies on the porch and ran away, wanting to keep their good deed anonymous. The packages included heart-shaped cards that read: "Have a great night. From the T and L Club."

At around 10:30 p.m., they knocked on Young's door. Young, whose home had reportedly been burglarized before, became frightened and called the police. The police determined no crime had been committed. But the next day, Young was admitted to the hospital suffering from an anxiety attack.

Despite receiving a note of apology from the girls and an offer to pay her medical bills, Young ended up suing them. On Thursday, a Durango judge ordered the girls to pay about $900 for Young's medical bills. She was awarded nothing for pain and suffering.

"I know there wasn't any intent to cause harm, but I think that they made some poor choices," Young has said. "I think there should have been some accountability."

Now, I've only had one anxiety attack in my entire life, so I will admit up front that I cannot make any personal connection to what Ms. Young felt. However, why couldn't she just have left it when the police discovered that there was merely a box of cookies on her doorstep? Did she really have to pursue it judicially? The article goes on to say that Americans are donating money to the girls to pay the $900. I'd love to see someone donate money to up Ms. Young's medication.

Animal, Vegetable or Mineral?

In the event you have nothing better to do, or if, like me, you have something better to do and are choosing not to do it, why not go play 20 Questions with a computer?

I probably spent a full 20 minutes fiddling around with it. Very cool.

Via Chris.

Ah, a Meme!

Louisiana Casey just tagged me, so now it's my turn to provide you even more fascinating details about myself. As though the other day's quiz wasn't enough. This time we're going to talk about the music that did/does move me. Here we go:

1. Song that sounds like happy feels
"Pretty Good Day," by Luce. It's definitely upbeat without being obnoxious. It describes the kind of day that I might want to write a song about. If I did such things.

2. Earliest Memory
I'd have to make two choices here, because I really don't know which hit my consciousness first. One, "Rhinestone Cowboy," by Glenn Campbell. This was one of my most favoritest albums ever, and it disappeared from my room forever one day. I think my evil mother got sick of me playing it overandoverandoverandover, and she threw it out. Two, the aforementioned mother was a HUGE fan of Barbra Streisand, and "Evergreen," stands out as being an early music memory.

3. Last CD You Bought
"Scissor Sisters" by...Scissor Sisters. I love love lovetty love this CD. It is so great for workouts. And driving your husband crazy with a disco beat.

4. Reminds You of School
I had two little girlfriends in grade school, and we used to sing "Delta Dawn" by Tanya Tucker as we played on the tire swing in the playground during recess. I knew all the words before I ever even heard Tanya Tucker sing it.

In high school, the first thing that comes to mind is "More Than Words," by Extreme, which was the song I dedicated to my first real boyfriend. *gag*

5. Total Music Files on Your PC
None. We have dial-up, and I'm not about to drive myself nuts trying to download anything with that crap.

6. Song for Listening to Repeatedly When Depressed
Well, it always has to do with a man, doesn't it? So I'd go with "You Oughta Know," by Alanis Morisette.

7. Song That Sounds British But Isn't
Uh...uh... I can't come up with anything here.

8. Song You Love, Band You Hate
I think "Evergreen," by Barbra Streisand deserves another mention, don't you?

9. A Favorite Song From the Past That Took Ages to Track Down
Easy. "One Night in Bangkok," by Murray Head. It's tough to find because (a) I'd never even heard of Murray Head and neither had anyone else in Idaho, and (b) because it is most commonly found on the soundtrack to "Chess," an 80's Broadway musical. It's probably my favorite song to dance to EVER.

10. Bought the Album for One Good Song
Well, there's about a hundred and fifty of these in my house. Most recently, "Good News for People Who Love Bad News," by Modest Mouse. I wasn't real thrilled with the CD, other than the song, "Float On."

11. Worst Song to Get Stuck in Your Head
This is going to suck, because now it's going to be stuck in my head. *drumroll* "Puff the Magic Dragon." There, are you happy?

12. Best Song to Dump a Beer on Someone's Head To, Then Storm Out of the Bar
How can I remember the name of the song? I was probably drunk at the time anyway...

13. Who Should do This Next
Sherri
Badger
Erica

For Those Who are Following the Saga:

Our offer on the house in Boise was accepted today. Now I just pray to heaven that the closing on our house up here goes smoothly. If so, we should be moving in around March 8. Woot!

Please, Please Tell Me Now

I figured I'd provide the answer key to the quiz I posted below. Why? Because some of you need it!!! Heh.

1. How many siblings do I have? I have five. Three brothers and two sisters.
2. What's my favorite color? Orange.
3. When I was in high school, I used to compete in: scholastic competitions (but thanks to all those who voted beauty pageants!)
4. I grew up in: Garden Valley
5. I am allergic to: cats
6. I lost my virginity at the age of: 21 (I was a late bloomer)
7. What was my first job? I was a pizza waitress at my parents' restaraunt.
8. How many piercings do I have? None. I'm satisfied with the number of holes naturally occuring on my body.
9. Where was my first job out of high school? At an insulation company. I was a secretary, and was badly harassed by my supervisor.
10. If I have a son, I will name him: Liam. I hope no one answered Bocephus. That would just be wrong in so many ways.

Time Just Draaaaags Alonnnnng...

We're still waiting to hear back on our counter-counter offer for the house purchase in Boise. Our realtor delivered it this morning and the seller's realtor indicated that he thought it would be no problem. But for whatever reason, our realtor thinks we won't know for sure until tomorrow morning.

In the meantime, Matt and I realized that we hadn't received any results from Saturday's inspection on this house. We looked at the contract, and the brokerage was supposed to get that to us by close of business yesterday. We didn't know what to do, and our phone calls weren't getting returned. We finally (with my dad's real estate expertise) drafted a letter to the brokerage pointing out the applicable sections of the contract where it said if we didn't get the results in the time specified, the buyers were implicitly signing off that everything was okay. The broker didn't seem to like our little note. Fancy that! It appears that someone dropped the ball, and even though our buyer was just signing off that everything was okay, we still should have been given some signed paperwork to that effect.

I'm not going to advertise it here on the blog, but in the event anyone is looking to buy or sell real estate in the Cascade area, I'll let you know who not to use.

Is That Your Final Answer?

There's no phone a friend option here.

Take my Quiz and then check out the scoreboard!

Thanks to my friend Allison for pointing this out.

Can Someone Tell Me...

...how to block certain searches from finding this page? I'm getting really sick of looking at hits for "Scott Wolfe/Kelly Limp wedding" after I posted one stupid article about it. (You losers out there seriously need lives. It happened forever ago.) I looked at the StatCounter help page, but didn't see anything.

I'd appreciate knowing how to eliminate some of these goofy stats. Thanks!

I Caught You a Delicious Bass

Napoleon Dynamite


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yep, that's about right, especially the part about the secret Ninja moves.

Note: if the stupid graphic (which totally reeks like poo) doesn't load, it says, "You are Napoleon Dynamite. Sweeeeet! You have excellent bow hunting skills, quick reflexes, killer dance moves, and know secret ninja moves from the government. You are a force to be reckoned with."

Things are Coming Together

Our New House? 

We received the counter-offer from the seller, and are hanging around, waiting to talk to our realtor about a couple of things we need changed before we sign on the dotted line. But...I think we're going to sign.

What do you think of the color? Baby-shit brown, yes? Oh well.

Oy, Wotta Day!

Today was our house-hunting trip. Things were considerably complicated when my beloved husband volunteered to assist in a wild turkey transplanting project this morning, involving him driving a truck and horsetrailer approximately 60 miles with a load of 80 turkeys in the back. As a friend of mine pointed out after hearing of the incident, my stories tend to have things going on in them that more urban people may have a hard time getting their minds around.

Anyway, the course of these little projects never goes smoothly, and we ended up being an hour and a half late getting to Boise. Thank heaven we have an understanding realtor. Who bought us brunch. Gotta love it.

In a nutshell, we put an offer in on a house today. We had eyeballed the plan pretty thoroughly, researched the area, liked what we saw when we toured it. So...now we wait.

Yesterday's inspection on this house went amazingly well. The buyer just had me show him around the house and we talked about the work we put into the place over the last couple of years. He looked at the appliances, checked out the property corners, and that was about it. I was expecting considerably more, but I'm more than happy to have him just sign off as being satisfied on the whole thing.

I'm back to being laid off this week. Yay! I get to sleep in tomorrow! Oh, and I started my period (this is somewhat of a fertility blog, so you all just have to put up with the continuing saga) and my uterus is a serious bitch. She is just plain kicking my sorry ass this month. Ow. Ow ow.

Inspector Gadget

Our buyer's home inspection is today. That's where the buyer typically hires a certified home inspector to come in and scrutinize the place to let them know the house isn't going to fall down around their ears two days after closing.

Our buyer is evidently going to do his own inspection. I guess he used to be a real estate agent, so I suppose he's got some experience in this kind of thing. I've gone back over the house with a scrub brush and a bottle of Clorox Clean-Up, but that's about all I can do--ensure the cleanliness of the house.

We have no reason to think this shouldn't go smoothly, but I'm still nervous. This is one of the big steps in the sale process. We're heading to Boise tomorrow to meet with our realtor and look at houses.

I'm feeling very fidgety.

Here We Go Again

That evil SpongeBob seems to be infecting others with his gayness (please recognize the sarcasm there):

Buster the Bunny Gets Busted

NEW YORK, NY, (NAMC) Jan 28, 2005—It looks like Public television is under fire by the U.S Secretary of Education and they can blame it on the bunny.

The problems all started after they got wind of a show that PBS had an option of airing which features an animated bunny promoting same-sex civil unions.

The name of the unaired show is “Postcards from Buster,” an animated children’s travelogue and takes place in good ole Vermont, the show recognizes same-sex civil unions. The bunny who’s name is Buster, yes the same Buster that is a part of PBS’ “Arthur” series, meets with real children and sends “video postcards” back home. In the Vermont episode, a girl introduces Buster to “my mom and Gillian,” and the group sits down to dinner.

The federally funded PBS pulled the show on Tuesday when the Education Secretary Margaret Spellings blasted them for featuring lesbian parents. But the Boston Station that created it “WGBH” will air it anyway and are looking to provide it to other PBS stations. A spokeswoman for “WGBH” said that a dozen stations have asked to look at the show and decide for themselves.

God forbid. God f*cking forbid that kids are exposed to different lifestyles.

Hey, Bloggers!

I thought I'd pose a question to those out there who have blogs of their own: what do you consider your favorite blogging tools?

For example, my list of current reading material is from All Consuming. My stats, as I have mentioned numerous times before, come from StatCounter.

What tools do you use on your site, and what do you like about them? What do you wish you had?

That Was One of the Most Frustrating Things Ever

I just downloaded Blogger's photo uploading program, which is called Hello! and runs directly off of Picasa software, which you have to install. I had it before on the old computer and it was just hunky-dory.

I hadn't loaded it yet on the new computer, and got an e-mail today saying that Version 2 was available, yadda yadda. Long story short, I was caught in download hell for thirty minutes, because Hello! (I hate that damned exclamation point at the moment) didn't install correctly the first time around.

It was absolutely, horrible miserable, and I really hope those damned Hello! people writhe in Purgatory an extra 30 minutes for what they put me through.

Nice Rack!

Toilet Paper Does Make One Bustier! 

It's sort of difficult to explain this photo without actually discussing my employer and what I do. Let's just say it sometimes involves rolls of toilet paper and snowmobiles. Lacking adequate space on the snowmobile for the tp, I started seeking alternative carrying options. This one didn't end up working in the long-term, but I did think it merited photo documentation.

Note that my hair is not quite as Spicoli-esque when it's up in a clip. I'm still chopping it off in about ten days.

Thanks for Having a Moustache, Mom!

Bad Driving 'Linked to Hormones'

Map reading and parking may prove difficult for some women because they were exposed to too little testosterone in the womb, researchers suggest.
The study, in the journal Intelligence, fuels the age-old male myth that women are deficient in these skills.

Scientists from the University of Giessen, Germany, found a lack of the hormone affects spatial ability.

Low testosterone levels are also linked to shorter wedding ring fingers, they say.

The research looked at the spatial, numerical and verbal skills of 40 student volunteers.

Spatial skill is the ability to assess and orientate shapes and spaces. Map reading and parking are spatial skills which men often say women lack. Women tend to disagree.

The researchers also looked at the length of the students' wedding and index fingers.

In women, the two fingers are usually almost equal in length, as measured from the crease nearest the palm to the fingertip. In men, the ring finger tends to be much longer than the index.

For one of the spatial tests, volunteers had to tell which of five drawings could not be rotated so it looked like the other four.

The other test involved the ability to think in 3D by mentally "unfolding" a complex shape.

Overall, men achieved higher scores in the tests than women.

But women with the male pattern of finger length did better than those whose wedding finger was shorter.

They also scored better on the numerical tests.

Fertility

Writing in Intelligence, the researchers, led by Dr Petra Kempel, said women who had 'male-like' finger length ratio patterns outperformed other women.

They added that the differences seen within the group studied were "remarkable."

However, the researchers accept that their study was limited because only one saliva sample was taken from each person, and no detailed account was taken of women's menstrual cycle, which can affect hormone balance.

Other studies looking at finger length ratio have suggested that, in men a long ring finger and symmetrical hands are an indication of fertility, and that women are more likely to be fertile if they have a longer index finger.

Another study controversially suggested that finger length ratio could also be linked to sexual orientation, with lesbian women having a greater difference in length between their ring finger and index finger than straight women do.

Blahhh...

After the excitement of starting escrow on our house, everything else seems kind of gray. I think part of the problem is that I have been so damn busy lately. I'm back to work full-time this week, though I don't have any idea if I'll work next week. In addition, I took on a public relations project for a friend of mine and have been working on a press kit for her business, I'm still trying to learn the web design stuff, I'm on the major slim-down project, and I've got two different job applications that need to be finished.

I think maybe I'm slightly burnt out. I still need to do our taxes, and I'm usually Johnny on the spot with those.

On the good side, I think we've identified which house we're going to buy. Our realtor in Boise has set us up with an appointment to tour this place and several like it on Sunday. With luck, we'll be able to make a contingency offer on it next week and close shortly after our sale up here is finalized.

Yeah, I've got a little going on right now.

Drumroll, Please!

We sold our house!!!

I should say that we accepted an offer this morning, and that we will likely close on or around March 1.

Dude, sweet! Boise, here I come!

Thanks for the Memories

I'm so sad that Johnny Carson died.

My family watched The Tonight Show practically every night when I was growing up, and Carson always made us laugh so hard. My particular favorite recurring skit was Karnak the Magnificent, where Carson would hold a sealed envelope to his forehead and then divine a response to the question written therein. We quit watching the show when Leno took over. It wasn't so much because Leno lacked talent, but because no one could fill those shoes.

Thanks for making us laugh, Johnny. Go with grace.

Cautiously Wildly Optimistic

Our realtor called: one of the groups (there were two, believe it or not) that came to look at our house yesterday sat down with their agent this afternoon and drafted an offer on our place!

We're meeting with our agent in an hour or so. They offered $11k less than we have it listed for, and we're going to write a counter-offer.

I'm all a-quiver with anticipation. Keep sending good thoughts that everything goes smoothly!

Remove the Rafter From Thine Own Eye

This is just ridiculous:

Homophobes Give Love Sponge a Bad Reputation

Here’s the deal: SpongeBob, along with pals Dora the Explorer, Arthur and the Rugrats, among others, got together in New York on Nov. 10 to tape a video remix of the Sister Sledge disco hit “We Are Family.”

Nile Rodgers, who co-wrote the song, set up The We Are Family Foundation (www.wearefamilyfoundation. org) as a response to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Its mission is to “celebrate our common humanity.” As part of that, the video aims “to promote tolerance and diversity to America’s children.”

The foundation is sending the music video, which includes a message about “the importance of togetherness embodied in the word ‘family,’” along with a teaching guide to 61,000 elementary schools. It hopes the schools will air and discuss the video March 11. With the backing of former Sen. Robert Dole and Sen. Orrin Hatch, the group is proposing March 11 as National We Are Family Day.

I’m not seeing a nefarious plot.

In fact, the packet doesn’t include the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Tolerance Pledge, though it is on the We Are Family Web site.

“Tolerance is a personal decision that comes from a belief that every person is a treasure,” the pledge begins. It ends with, “I pledge to have respect for people whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own.”

The talk of a mass “tolerance pledge” first surfaced on WorldNetDaily (www.worldnetdaily.com) in a story headlined “SpongeBob, Barney promote ‘gay’ tolerance.”

In it, American Family Association (www.afa.net) spokesman Ed Vitagliano charged that “homosexual activists are using popular children’s TV characters such as SpongeBob SquarePants and Barney the Dinosaur to surreptitiously indoctrinate young children into their lifestyle.”

Now, I'm no Sponge Bob expert, but if he's encouraging kids to live in a pineapple under the sea, okay. That's the closest thing I've been able to see towards persuading kids toward a certain "lifestyle." I fail to see, however, how any of it could be construed as homosexual. At all.

Where do these wackos get off in making accusations like this? Were they sitting around watching cartoons with their grandkids and realized that they got an erection from watching the interplay between Sponge Bob and Patrick? Remove the rafter from thine own eye!

And this horrifying pledge: God forbid that kids pledge to have respect for people different from them. Wouldn't that be awful? But you know, I've got a pretty fundamentalist-type Christian background (the doctrines and behaviors of which I repudiate), and I still can't remember Jesus Christ not showing respect for anyone, regardless of their "sins."

Typical of the fundies, don't you think?

Ooo, Ooo, Ooo!

You all keep your fingers crossed for us: after posting a serious rant about the slackitude of the real estate market around here, we've got a showing this afternoon!

My fingers are all bleach-smelly from the power cleaning I put on this place. I hope to God something comes out of this...

In Which I Address Your Unspoken Questions

I had a few interesting items in my web stats recently, and I figured I could address a few of the themes that came up in the keyword search.

1. How to tell when codependency gets bad
You can tell because your father just had surgery to get nerves severed in his feet, all because his fiancee' (of six years with no real wedding date set) had the same surgery and thought it might be a good idea.

2. Wedding pictures of Chuck and Connie Parsons
I'm sure they're a lovely couple, but I don't know them. I can't help you. I might scan some of my own wedding pictures and post them one of these days (the bride wore tennis shoes), but that's not going to help fans of Mr. and Mrs. Parsons.

3. Catheter in my cervix
Yeah, that was a fun experience. I'm not a big fan of the hysterosalpingogram. I'm amazed at how often this particular search comes up. Ladies: IT HURTS LIKE HELL.

4. Crazy Norwegian
Lemme hear you say "Uff da!"

5. Finally, hoople head
I don't know what it means, folks. It's a term from HBO's show, "Deadwood." I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and got no help. Also, if anyone could enlighten me as to what "bodaggit" means, I'd really be grateful.