I thought I'd get started by telling (okay, retelling for pretty much everyone who's going to read this) the story of one of the most absurd things I've ever been involved with: the Turkey Rodeo.
In my wee small town, there once lived a guy who raised turkeys. These aren't the fluffy, white turkeys that Al Roker features on the Today Show the week before Thanksgiving. These are semi-wild beasties, taken from wild stock and raised domestically. The guy who raised them couldn't weed out their wilder tendencies, and the turkeys escaped from pretty much any enclosure they were ever put into. And then the guy moved away, leaving his turkeys to roam free much like Elsa the lion, but with wings and beaks.
One day my husband got a call that the turkeys were intimidating small children in the town. Having tried to catch the turkeys before, we knew a real plan was in order. We decided that he'd get his salmon fishing net--which is a huge net on a pole, and I'd help him by trying to herd turkeys toward where he was hiding. Then he'd swoop the net down and voila, we'd catch the turkeys.
We arrived at the "scene of the crime," and observed the "perps" wandering around behind somebody's RV. As we were strategizing, several young boys wandered over, having recognized my husband from a recent hunter's education class he'd taught. They volunteered to help, so the boys and I spread out. My husband hid himself behind a tree with the net. The boys and I walked toward the turkeys and started herding them. As soon as the husband made a swipe at the first bird, all hell broke loose. Turkeys scattered everywhere, and the race was on.
The boys and I chased those turkeys over hill and dale, trying to get them back around to my husband. We showed no regard for private property rights--we ran through yards, leapt over doghouses, clothes-lined ourselves on tree branches and generally spread mayhem throughout the neighborhood. Finally we pinned a turkey up against the side of someone's house. Alerted to our presence by a giant turkey throwing itself at his plate glass window, the homeowner came out to investigate. At the same time, my husband swooped from around the corner and caught the turkey in his net. It took a little bit of explaining to settle the homeowner down, and my husband (with turkey in net), the kids and I all started walking back to the truck to secure our captive inside one of our dogs' travel crates. Needless to say, we'd left the dogs at home.
As we arrived at the truck, a city police cruiser pulled up alongside. The officer, who we knew fairly well, took a good look at our motley crew and the captive and said, "Oh, its you. We just got a call that some lady and her four kids were chasing turkeys through people's back yards." I put my arms around the boys and said, "Yes, officer. Its something of a family activity. We get a lot out of it, and I think the turkeys do too."