I had to have a physical exam today (work thing). Part of the exam is a blood draw to check my cholesterol, lipids, and probably just an extraction of DNA to get a sample into some database in the Homeland Security Department. I hate blood draws for several reasons.
One: You have to fast. No coffee, no food, nada after about 11:00 p.m. the night before. It's a good thing it's not a psych test, because I am a raging fucking bitch without food or coffee in the morning. It's an understatement to say I am a breakfast person. I'm very lucky to have a kind, understanding husband, because he usually has a cup of coffee on the bathroom counter for me when I get out of the shower. This allows me to peel open my other eye. One thing leads to another, and I sit down to breakfast, which provides me enough fuel to get out the door with my pants on. Going without either of these things is borderline suicidal for all parties involved.
Two: My veins are either really small, or they have minds of their own. No matter how much water I drink leading up to a blood draw, as soon as my veins see that needle coming at them they say, "Fuck you, asshole," and they start clutching my bone structure as tightly as possible. No one ever gets blood out of me on the first try. I've offered to cut myself wide open if the lab tech will Just. Stop. Stabbing Me.
Anyway, all is well that ends well. I'm neither diabetic, on the verge of congestive heart failure, nor hard of hearing. Woo hoo.