My father is something of a colorful speaker. I think it sort of runs in the family, but I do pick up some good sayings from him now and then. Here are a few:
You fuck with the bull, you fuck with the horns. I especially like this one when someone gives my husband any crap. Nobody, but nobody better get in his way if I have anything to say about it. Sure, he's a game warden, he carries a gun, he is a defensive tactics instructor. I can't really add much to the mix, except for a really bad attitude. But I'm there.
He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel. Ol' Dad applied this phrase to many of the people in the small town I grew up in.
She's uglier than a hat fulla assholes. Usually applied to the wives of those who had the difficulties with the pee-filled boot.
I know there are many more phrases that often make for lively conversations with my pop. I'll try to remember more and post them later.