This came from my friend, Kathy, via the Democratic Underground, in regard to the presidential debates..
Deciphering Bush
Bush's "Internets" comment wasn't his only clanger of the night. (Did you expect it to be?) No, Bush put his foot in his mouth on a wide variety of other topics.
From Bush's mouth:
"First, the National Journal named Senator Kennedy the most liberal senator of all."
In Bush's brain:
Kennedy, right? I think that's right... who is this guy sitting across from me again? Wait, where am I?
From Bush's mouth:
"You looked at me like my clock was up."
In Bush's brain:
Heh heh! Clock... up...
From Bush's mouth:
"Look at the record of the man running for the president."
In Bush's brain:
I mean the other guy. Don't look at MY record.
From Bush's mouth:
"This is different from saying, OK, let me incent you to go on the government."
In Bush's brain:
Incent... ya like that? See, I know big words too.
From Bush's mouth:
"I had to make the decision to destroy more life, so we continue to destroy life - I made the decision to balance science and ethics."
In Bush's brain:
She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes, she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes... Dammit, Dubya! Focus!
From Bush's mouth:
"And I'm going to spend what it takes to win the war, more than just $120 billion for Iraq and Afghanistan."
In Bush's brain:
That reminds me, must tell Dick that Halliburton called again.
From Bush's mouth:
"Now, you asked what mistakes. I made some mistakes in appointing people, but I'm not going to name them. I don't want to hurt their feelings on national TV."
In Bush's brain:
Yeah, Dick Clarke, I'm talking about you. Keeping you on was a BIG mistake. Telling everyone Iraq wasn't a threat... well NOW who's the fool, huh?
From Bush's mouth:
"Need some wood?"
In Bush's brain:
Heh heh! Wood...
From Bush's mouth:
"I really don't have - haven't picked anybody yet [for the Supreme Court]. Plus, I want them all voting for me."
In Bush's brain:
Folks should like that. Stealing the election was funny.
From Bush's mouth:
"Another example would be the Dred Scott case, which is where judges, years ago, said that the Constitution allowed slavery because of personal property rights. That's a personal opinion. That's not what the Constitution says. The Constitution of the United States says we're all - you know, it doesn't say that. It doesn't speak to the equality of America."
In Bush's brain:
Stupid Constitution.
From Bush's mouth:
"I guess you'd say I'm a good steward of the land."
In Bush's brain:
Hope I managed to keep a straight face when I said that!
From Bush's mouth:
"I vowed to the American people after that fateful day of September the 11th that we would not rest nor tire until we're safe."
In Bush's brain:
Jesus, I need a vacation.
You know, if it weren't for the possibility of a bankrupted economy, a
ruined environment, an erosion of reproductive freedom, a theocracy
run by the richest Americans, endless war in the Middle East, and the
entire world hating our guts, another four years of Bush would
probably be quite funny.