Why I oughta...!
Those dirtbags at the wedding chapel we were married at have added a few new options. That's right, they now have an Elvis impersonator doing weddings. And even if he doesn't perform the ceremony, you can hire him for songs and photo opportunities. That just blows. The thing is, my pending mother-in-law and I were kind of at loggerheads over the fact that our wedding was in Las Vegas in the first place. To quote: "You can't possibly stay married if you start your relationship in Las Vegas. It just shows that you're not taking your vows seriously." So I was pretty much at the point where any passive-aggressive behavior that I could come up with was going to be immediately implemented. I totally could have added an impersonator or two to my arsenal of coronary-inducing hijinks.
That's it. I think its about time to renew our vows.